Search This Blog & Get A Rife

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dazed & Confused

It's Thursday, September 5, 1991 here in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan.

I'm half-awake and I'm vibrating. I'm either in shock or I'm experiencing a mild earthquake, though I think only my body is shaking. What is going on?

Not a good day. Probably one in which I'll be in a pissy mood.

I only have one class today at Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junior High School) where I am an assistant English teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme. After my one class - which is satisfying, if not a little bit exciting, I go to the teacher's office.

It's freaking hot outside at 36 Celsius at 10AM. This is pretty normal for this time of year leading into what is know as Typhoon Season. The rest of the school goes out to practice for this weekend's Sports Day festival. That's my cue to sit around and hand-write the 17-pages of letters I owe people.

Lunch was just okay. I have given up eating rice, as I want to drop a few more pounds. I chat with some of the boys I eat lunch with, and surprise, surprise We can actually communicate pretty well in both English and Japanese. I am still unsure when I started to get this language, but I am sure I am talking at a 1st grade level  - that would be like a six-year-old.

After lunch I go outside and watch the renshu (practice). It's interesting, but I'm not going to be able to attend it.

After school, I go home. My ex-girlfriend Ashley is there. We aren't a couple anymore, but we did agree to be friends-with-benefits.. only after going back to the USA for a vacation... well, I ain't seeing any benefits.  Sorry for her, but I'm not in a good mood when I see her. She's joining me in a kyudo (Japanese archery) tournament this weekend, and she already seems better prepared than I am.

At our kyudo lesson, nothing feels right for me. My practice shots are great, but standing at the line and firing at the real target so far away... well, all my shots waver and head down - well short of the target. I think it's my string, but I don't know how to ask anyone, as I didn't bring my dictionary with me. So much for figuring out this language.

My hands are also shaking. I pull a diva, and leave in a huff after 30 minutes leaving Ashley there by herself.

At home I am so pissed off at myself, Ashley and the world, I call the only sane person I know... Matthew, a fellow junior high teacher who lives in my city but teaches in the outskirts of the city.

Jeanne, another teacher calls me (she lives in the same apartment complex as Ashley in Nishinasuno Town) to invite me to the Ibaraki Beach Party this weekend. Yeah, right. Last year I went by myself as no one from my area wanted to go. I go horribly lost owing to a decided lack of direction and Japanese language ability. I vowed  - never again. And besides, why invite me on Thursday for an event on Saturday. That's hardly enough warning for a guy is permanently busy.

James Jimmy Jive Dalton (another JET) phones me to invite to play poker tomorrow. For some reason that little time doesn't bother me, so I agree. He's about 25 minutes south of my city by train. Rory then calls to tell me about a job he's applying for. Rory is the ex-boyfriend of Kristine... the only woman on the JET Programme - and the only woman I currently know, for whom I would do anything for. Yes, I like her, but she's also been stupidly nice to me.

Then Ashley comes over to check up on me. She tries to make me talk and to make me laugh. It's difficult for me, as I am being childish. I see this now in 2011. She suggest we go over to her place to watch a Star Trek episode on a video tape she got recently, but she can't find it. I don't understand that. Her place is tiny. She has four rooms, but each one is about eight-foot by eight-foot. (2.44m x 2.44m).

Instead, we watch an old Jimmy Stewart movie called Harvey, which I have never seen before. Love her or hate her, Ashley has introduced me to some decent movies. Harvey is fantastic!

I go home at 1AM, have a bad headache. I am feeling over-whelmed, dazed and further confused over my relationship with Ashley.

Somewhere not feeling right,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is by Led Zeppelin: SOULOFAWOMAN. This a particularly raunchy version. It's almost all distortion. Here's the album version: CREATEDBELOW. There are more words that fit my mood, but the frenetic raunchy version is as dazed and confused as I feel.
PS: There's another blog eight hours after the publication of this one! It's about... sports! 

No comments:

Post a Comment