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Friday, December 14, 2012

Pet Emergency Evacuation Jackets

Fortunately, when I heard of this topic - Pet Emergency Evacuation Jackets - it was exactly as I pictured it.

Although I must admit I did picture a goldfish-like bowl over the head, oxygen tank strapped to the back, and a full suit to cover the entire body of the pet, plus tubes allowing for the evacuation of the critter's bowels and kidneys. I also pictured automatic discharge of food pellets from within the helmet.

Hmm... come to think of it, this pet evacuation suit is nothing like I pictured.

This item, and others are available at the Japan Trend Shop:

Do you see that image at the top left showing how easy it is for someone to carry their dog away in case of an emergency like an earthquake, tsunami, nuclear meltdown caused by excessive Godzilla? My dog is 110 pounds.

If I'm trying to outrun a tsunami, I'm putting him down so he can fend for himself - he's faster than me!

According to the website I saw this on, the evacuation jacket for your pet  is "made from the same material used by Japan's world-class firefighters".

Uh... world-class firefighters? Look... I'm sure they are brave and do a good job, but the firefighters I know in Japan are all volunteers and are lucky if they have enough time to wet a towel to use as a fire retardant. Whatever.

Anyhow, the flame-retardant suit protects the pet from heat while adding a carrying handle for controlling and transporting frantic pets.

There are also pockets in the pet jacket, but Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife assumes it's not for Shiro the dog's iPAD or Mew the cat's smartphone, and that it's instead for you to stick in some emergency tools and supplies for you and the pet...

Uh... If I am prepared enough to buy something like this for my pet, I am, prepared enough to have a backpack filled with emergency rations for myself and the pet, and hopefully something for others... maybe bandages, water, your bi-polar meds.

The pet evacuation suit is made of "rugged hardware, professional-grade materials, and rapid Velcro closure, (and) it's one less thing to think about in emergency situations".

Except for... Where the hell did you put the dog's emergency jacket? Every time there's an imminent nuclear meltdown, we waste valuable melting-time looking for the stupid dog's coat. I don't even have a coat! Why don't I have a coat? Why did you buy the dog a coat and not one for us?!

Hey... in the photo above... are those red things booties or nose guards to stop things from going in or out of your pet's nose?

So... what does ~¥44,000 (US/Cdn $523) buy you?

The Pet Evacuation Jacket features:
  • Japan Firefighting Association-certified flame-retardant jacket;
  • Materials: polyester (base cloth), polyurethane (outer shell), fireproof acrylic (lining);
  • Heavy-duty carry handle, and double-duty strap/leash;
  • Pet supplies: food bowl, muzzle, hermetically sealed odor control bag (for any items distressing the pet), protective rain hood and rubber booties (aha! Booties!), freezer gel paks (to control heat), bell, waterproof ID capsule with blank paper;
  • Human/pet supplies: 50mL sealed water packs for drinking or disinfecting, nutrition bars, bandages, aromatic oil (for calming panic), first-aid gloves, mini-radio, emergency whistle;
  • Number of water packs and energy bars vary; see size chart below for details;
  • Manual: Japanese, but self-explanatory.
  • Size Chart (cm):
    Type 01   02   03
    Height 37   31   27
    Waist 54-67   44-56   38-46
    Neck (circumference) 33-45   27-35   24-29
    Weight 450   400   360
    Water packs/energy bars 6/3   3/2   2/1
I have no idea how knowing my dog's weight is 450... what... centimeters is important? Metric kills me! I thought centimeters measured age?!

As near as I can figure, the 450/400/360 refers to ounces, which is 28-pounds (12.8 kilograms)/25-pounds (11.3 kilograms) and/22.5-pounds (10.2 kilograms), and represents the maximum weight your dog or cat can be for the straps to hold it while you are carting the critter around.

Okay, okay... I've ragged on about this long enough. I have owned dogs and cats all my life and they have always been a part of the family. I did indeed save my cat's life when we had a house fire a few year's back... but I just picked her up (actually, I woke her up when I picked her up as I raced past the fire 3-meters (10 feet) away behind a closed door)... I can't even imagine having her around my neck in a evacuation jacket.. she'd scratch the hell out of me, as she hates being picked up, hates being contained, and obviously prefers to sleep in the face of real danger.

But, I guess this is a good product. Just make sure you have your own evacuation jacket... and one for each family member... yes... even your worthless husband's nagging 94-year-old mother.

Other great products include:

  • Ishiatama-kun Wanko Dog Fire Coat, a fire-proof pet head protection suit. Cdn/US $199 (¥16,700).

  • Pet Emergency Shoulder Bag, a cat or dog disaster carry bag. Notice that the model in the photo below dare not carry a REAL cat for fear of it scratching the crap out of her! Cdn/US $406 (¥34,000).

  • Pet Earthquake Emergency Bag Kit, a dog or cat catastrophe rescue carry bag. The Earthquake Kit costs less than the Pet Emergency Evacuation Jacket at Cdn/US $409 (¥34,300).

Andrew (why is there a dog around my neck and a cat on my head) Joseph
PS: What do I do about my pet fish?

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