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Sunday, December 23, 2012

What Do Japanese Women Sound Like In Bed?

A few weeks back, I received, a personal question regarding this blog... or more specifically what do Japanese women sound like in bed...

The letter was from a Japanese-American woman.

She pondered, after viewing a few Japanese pornographic videos just why it is that the Japanese actresses seem to sound as though they are in pain while they are having sex.

She adds that she herself has had a few American male friends who have dated Japanese women, but lacked the 'courage' to ask about this, and wondered if this was something that men are intrigued by.

Wow. Great question... and only one I can give an opinion to, as opposed to a definite answer.

First off, for the record, I did write back to her right away and provide my opinion... which is what I am going to do now.

So... for those of you who may never have seen a Japanese porn movie - bravo, but these ones bore me.

I've seen a few, and my writer-friend is correct! The women in these movies all sound like they are in pain while they have sex.

Now... since I was actually lucky enough to have had sex with a few Japanese women before seeing Japanese porn, I had no preconceived notions about sex.

That, by the way, is a big negative about porn. Preconceived notions are erected, as well as impossible, ideals to live up to.

People tend to think that porno movies are merely an extension of real life... and to a certain degree, I will agree with that. But for the most part, the porn and the adult video industry caters to fantasy.

It caters to what it believes the average man or woman wants, and tries to deliver it.

This is where the whole 'itai-itai-iku-iku' thing comes from in Japanese porn. That's my own phrasing in Japanese, but it translates into: 'ow-ow-I'm cumming-I'm cumming'.

Of the 20+ Japanese women I was lucky enough to have slept with in my three years in Japan (not including any AETs or CIRs on the JET (Japan exchange & Teaching) Programme, or tourists), not a single one of them moaned as though they were in pain, but did moan in 'enjoyment' before 'iku-iku-ing'. Well... some of them did... I was still learning.

Ergo... based on an admittedly small sample size (I tried to get a larger sampling - I really did), I hypothesize that the average Japanese woman not involved in the porn industry does not moan during sex.

Now... you pundits may laughingly suggest that my bed partners did not moan in pain because I am not hugely endowed. Sure. I'm not Johnny Wad, or Long Dong Silver et al... but in a comparison to what the male actors in these movies have, I'm in the ball park, if not carrying a bigger bat. How do I know? I pressed it up against my TV. Okay, really... it's a visual thing... comparing the club to the hand to the vase beside the bed... you can get a good guess.

So... if I am at around the same size as these actors... and they not super large... why didn't my Japanese women sound like the ones in the videos? Because in real life, they don't.

It's my opinion that the women in porn videos are instructed to act subservient. To act like it hurts because the men watching it who are getting off to this want to believe that they are hugely endowed and when he (the viewer) is fantasizing about doing the actress, he wants to hear that he is hurting her with his penis.

I think the male viewers want to hear the woman being screwed like she's being hurt.

Is this a Japanese male thing, or is this what the Japanese adult video thinking it's what the men want?

Probably a bit of both.

I do think the average Japanese man likes to think he is in charge, whether in the boardroom or the bedroom. There's that feeling of power.

Why that revolves around 'hurting' a woman during sex - I have no idea. A lot of things revolving around sex involve a power struggle. I know plenty of women who love it when they are spanked, and would love to flip it and suddenly take control, become the Dom... to make the man beg and howl for more...

Maybe in Japan, however, because the sexual liberation of women is still in its infancy (my opinion) - women do not come close to equality in the male-dominated Japan - that the male-controlled adult video industry thinks the women should be ultra subservient to the men.

Hell... have you seen these videos? Most of the time it involves a man interfering with a woman (bordering on rape) to have sex with them... in most of the flicks I saw (past tense), the men wanted sex more than the woman and weren't taking 'no' for an answer... and when sex was initiated, itai-itai (ow-ow) would be moaned from the woman at the big strong, virile Japanese man with the huge penis slamming into her.

It's all fantasy. The guy watching the flick is supposed to fantasize that he is the male actor pounding the woman. He wants to believe he is something he isn't, and the actress moans that he is hurting her with his sexual prowess.

I mean... for gosh sakes... how many of the porn videos revolve in a woman dressed up as a high school student (a la the sailor moon school uniform?) - plenty. If you crack open a men's magazine... how many of the women are dressed in their old high school uniform? Most. It's a Lolita complex... and Japanese men utilize it as part of the fantasy (I hope it's only fantasy!). And the same hold true about the moaning in pain during sex in an adult video.

As an aside... my fiance tried to be the typical Japanese subservient woman in our daily life... picking up my clothes, trying to do the dishes, laundry et al... but she was just stopping by my house... I, as a foreigner, appreciated her efforts but did not need her to do this on my behalf.  And I told her so. I could hear the exhale of breath (Whew!), as she, just like me, had a job and sure as hell didn't need to do my laundry (as well as hers at her place). I didn't need to date the maid, though if she wanted to wear fishnets and dress up as the maid, that would be hot.

That's just my two yen's worth. The Japanese porn industry caters to its own market, just as every other country's adult video market caters to theirs.

So... my female writer-friend... it's my opinion that the Japanese porn industry has the women moan like they are hurting from the sex because that is a turn-on to Japanese men... but, the average Japanese woman does not moan like that, because unless you are hung like a mule, the man isn't hurting anyone for real.

This was a great question. Thank you for taking the time to ask me for my advice, and thank you for reading the blog.

Cheers
Andrew Joseph

42 comments:

  1. I think you are right overall, but my wife would say "itai" when we first started dating. At the time, I spoke no Japanese and had not been to Japan except for a few short trips nor had I been with another Japanese woman. I asked what it meant and she told me. To say the least I was a bit concerned. She explained that it was hard to explain, but it didn't really mean it hurt like I thought hurt meant.

    Figure that out! By the way, she had never been in porn. Wish she had been, for then she could at least have faked interest in sex for a longer time after the marriage.

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    1. Damn! That throws my theory out the window!
      Sorry about the other part of your message, ebichinchin.

      Chin-chin? I know what that means!

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    2. Perhaps she meant more like an ache, a pleasurable one, than actual pain?

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    3. That's a good point... but this is more of a cultural thing rather than an individual thing, in my opinion. I think it's possible that it was a pleasurable ache for some.
      I did ask - and no one was hurting from pain...
      I still think it's part of the whole - YOU are My Master... And make me feel like a woman, you big stud, you...
      Who knows... I know o women who get wet when the wind blows. Others, it takes a lot of work to get the juices flowing... every person is different, but when it comes to the whole 'itai' thing, it seems to be universal amongst Japanese women.
      Maybe some scientific research is warranted... Gotta go read up, because I can't do it myself anymore!

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    4. I've heard a lot of women say that intercourse when they are still new to it though not virginal can still feel odd and feel overwhelming because a place that isn't used to it feels full to bursting and that can trigger a confusing almost pain response even though they aren't actually feeling pain. That actually might explain a lot of it.

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    5. I can't argue with that Anonymous... but it is the choice of word "itai/pain" that is interesting. Perhaps it's a cultural thing, the way that even non-religious folk might scream "Oh God" or swear their head off.
      From talking with various Japanese girlfriends, there was never any real pain involved. It was just something they said. Perhaps it was originally said to make the men feel like men. Perhaps this is a new word used... times and culture changes all the time.

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  2. i love how you said i pressed it up against the tv ok. Classy Ron Burgendy type saying....thumbs up for that alone

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    1. Ha! Thanks for the thumbs up! I wish I knew where my mind as when I came up with that line. And... I hate to admit it, but I had to look up Ron Burgendy... nope... I haven't seen it, though it sounds like I should.
      Cheers

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  3. I've read that the reason Japanese women sound like that in JAV porn is because of their reserved natures(especially sexually) and the Japanese man's fantasy of making them lose control of themselves. It's not that they're moaning in pain...but rather trying to stifle their cries of pleasure. So the fantasy isn't hurting women, but making them lose control of their normally reserved selves...or something like that.

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    1. This makes the most sense to me, actually, especially in light of their transition from hesitance/reluctance to desire and out-of-control pleasure, i.e., creating consent out of non-consent.

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    2. It does makes sense, doesn't it! Thanks for reading. Interesting that someone posted the link to this blog on the reddit site. Happy reading.

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  4. I don't think they moan because someone's hung like a mule or they want to make believe so. It's got to do more with the fact that Japanese really treasure their personal or individual space, no wonder why in a country where there's no space to sleep, almost literally. No need to be a genius to realise that intercourse is the last and ultimate frontier of conquering/invading someone's personal space, and that can be highly arousing and shocking at the same time for a J-woman/girl. So, yes some of them moan and squeal like that, and one can feel *very* complimented if they do so, dozo... Pun intended. Source: I've got a J- GF (future wife) who knows and has watched J-porn with me, and is nodding and smiling as I type this. Jah-nah.

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  5. After watching a lot of JAV debut videos you will notice that most of these girls do not moan alot at the start of the film but seem to get into it more as the film goes along. My theory is there is someone coaching them along from the side to be more vocal. Also, the asian women who have been in western and european porn movies are not as vocal as we see in the JAV films.
    I tend to agree with you Andrew, it's the industry that wants them to sound that way, not the girls themselves.
    Enjoyed your blog, ay.
    BTW - where do you find artist for you comics? Oh, probably need money too.

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    1. Honestly... I use young artists looking for a break. I give them a good script... they give me the art... I pay the printing costs and give maybe 5 copies to the artist for his/her portfolio.
      Here's the thing... no publisher will touch you if you haven't already been published.
      It's a Catch-22... how do you get published then?
      For writers... no one wants to read your script. They will read your comic book. If it looks great, chances are good it will get read...
      I went to many a writer's seminar at a convention - always: Find a great artist and ride their coattails to the top.
      My problem? I have found great artists... but they suddenly think they can write their own stories and draw them too.
      Once they wanted me to script their idea (ugh!)
      It's rare to find that combination. Jack Kirby couldn't write. Neal Adams, too. But Walt Simonson and Carl Barks and Hal Foster... kings, all as writer and artist. As such... every year I had to find a new artist.
      As for JAV - it's called acting.
      These guys stop and start scenes all the time... as soon as the guy get's into a rhythm and the womans might enjoy having her ass pounded - the director might yell cut and move the cameras, lights and sound for a different angle... and action!
      It's not easy getting it up and keeping it up with cameras around - and then having to deliver the money shot on cue...
      The women know their role and moan it well... Acting!!!



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    3. False, Japanese women do squeek in American porn, however rare those videos would be in the first place, especially if you time stamp their videos and history compared to say SEA girls. It's a cultural thing, not just in porn. It doesn't mean you're pleasing them just cause you don't hear them squeek like they're being raped.

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  6. interesting post. is there any blog like this but about Korea ? by any chance? cheers.

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    1. No idea... I write what I know. Personally... I think this is a Japanese-thing.

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  7. kurushii. i tried to look this word up but interestingly i can't find any examples of the usage i learned in japan, so grain of salt i guess. kurushii is generally translated as painful or difficult, but i learned the word in bed, from a japanese woman. she explained that it also means something pleasurable. roughly along the lines of "i can't take it" (in the good way).

    it's also probably good to remember that any (ahem) field research on this topic is a bit biased - we're only getting data on what japanese women are like in bed *with non-japanese men*. i'm told that western men can seem REALLY passionate and intense compared to japanese men, who are often regarded as cold and distant (or at least stereotyped that way).

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    1. True about the bias... BUT... I have seen a few Japanese adult videos in my day with all Japanese cast (ahem) members, and even though I know it's staged, the women still moan out that it hurts (so good).
      Thanks for reading and taking the time to write in.

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  8. My old Japanese girlfriend sounded kind of like the ones in porn, but not as loud. There might be something in the "trying to stifle the sound" theory, even with all her windows and doors shut you could hear the conversations of people walking past as plain as day.
    I did know a Japanese woman who had been to Waseda, and then studied in the USA for years. Her voice sounded completely American, to the point where you'd forget she was really Japanese. I often wondered what she would sound like.
    Oh alright, I'd have wondered what she sounded like either way.

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  9. Perhaps she meant more like an ache, a pleasurable one, than actual pain? 無料ポルノ動画

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    1. Like - 'it hurts so good" - Hmmm. Interesting point, my friend.

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  10. I've been watching Japanese porn for a long time now and I had to figure out why some made that squealing sound and while others did not. Eventually, I came to the similar conclusion as you as more than 50% of it is an act for the film. I have unfortunately never have had sex (with anyone YET), but I am extremely turned on by Japanese girls (and I am learning the language). Great post.

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  11. i think all men in all cultures love the sound of a woman moaning during sex. it makes a man feel like a stud that he is pleasing his woman. imagine having sex with a woman that does not moan...how boring...kind of like jerking off. i think that is the whole intent of the porn movies. hell even american, for that matter any porn movie in any culture, women moan like crazy whether they are cumming or not.

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    1. btw great post

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    2. Thanks! I've been with Japanese women who don't moan - all of them I've been with don't moan like they are in pain until they reach a certain level of arousal...I was with a Canadian woman in Japan, she moaned immediately... she wasn't faking that... and while I'm good, I'm not that good... so perhaps while the movies tend to exaggerate such pleasure principles, perhaps some women in reality are simply more sensitive when it comes to sexual arousal.
      Cheers
      Andrew

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  12. I am sure that they are pleasurable. After all they look so sweet.

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  13. Lifematedolls are the Love dolls is becoming an important option for those people who are living alone, Lifemate Doll is the Best Place to order online your Lifelike adult dolls.

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  14. 私はええセックスとお菓子が大好き

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  15. Thanks for explaining that Andrew bro. I have always wondered why J women moaned. Now I have my answer. I read the whole thing with all the comments.. Now it is time for round 2 of jerking off :D

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  16. Maybe I just ran across the wrong ones, but I could never get into Japanese porn, nearly all the women in the ones I saw were crying during the sex.
    The way my mental 'wiring' works I'd be stopping to see what I could do to make her stop crying, which made it a 100% turn-off.

    Japanese men do average about an inch (2.5 cm) shorter equipment than US/European men (don't remember who did the study).

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    1. I never got into Japanese porn either for the same reasons you suggest.

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  17. I have a Japanese wife for almost two years now, and she is the one that is very silent and quiet while we make love. I always seem to feel like I'm on my own when we make love. She's very innocent in that she never knew what sex was because she was always into her job and studying. She had no idea what that was about until I told her about it. Her mother never said anything about it.
    I would've thought she would moan with pleasure, but she just sat there looking at me with either a smile or a blank stare. Sometimes, she would just smile at me while I'm doing the work, as if she's glad she's pleasing me.
    That's not what I want. I want US to be romantically linked and pleasuring each other, not just myself. Her mother told her that most Asian women aren't built like European or American women, and that their sexual appetites are hardly there. My wife said that she honestly could care less about having sex, but since she loves me so much, she's willing to do that for me, which is nice, but not the answer I was hoping for. Anyway, just my experience with my Japanese wife. Great article, I might add as well. :)

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    1. Hi David, thanks for writing. Most of the Japanese women I slept with made noises and moved around in typical 'western' fashion. I never met a woman who sounded like the women in the porno flicks, and I never ran across a woman there who was NOT interested in having sex. I think times have changed since I was there, and I might hate it now.
      I'm with you, re: not the answer you wanted to hear. It's nice that she'll do you the favor, but it shouldn't have to be a favor for you... it should a mutually shared experience. Having said that... at least you are getting sex. You know she loves you because she is doing what she can for you... I think, like you, I have mixed emotions on your situation. But again... at least you love each other very much. Sex is NOT the be-all and end-all when it comes to being in love. Perhaps Japan is evolving to prove that point. Perhaps that sucks. I leave that up to people like yourselves to decide for themselves, because I am not one to judge. How could I?
      But... her mother telling you that Asian women aren't that into sex is pure BS. Maybe in that family. Then again, I don't know how old she is, or how old her mother is... Maybe for THAT family, sex is a duty, rather than a pleasure. I don't know. In the 1990s (and earlier) there was a sexual revolution going on as Japanese women gained more power over the men... it's why I had the adventures I did. Women were falling over themselves to be 'next'. They were enthusiastic partners. David... I hear where you are coming from (so to speak)... Let me end here in case I say something stupid or insensitive. Thank-you for sharing. I wish you both nothing but happiness... and thanks for the kudos, as well.

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  18. Andrew,

    Thank you for your thoughtful reply and comments. When I saw some of the Japanese porn, I kinda thought the same you do as well in the article. I would've never thought the women there were actually like that, either.
    About my wife, and a little detail about the situation: I am 37 and she will be 30 in a few weeks. We have a child together (my second, her first, obviously), and her mother is in her late 50s. I, like you, think what her mother said was total BS as well. I asked my wife why her mother never talked to her about such things, and she said because it was a "taboo" to. After we were married, however, they would talk on the phone and her mother would talk to her about her sex life (which was very vague). Her mother, who has been divorced since my wife was very little, never had a social life or date any other men because she was devoted and committed to raising her on her own, which I know back then in the 90s in Japan was very difficult to do at that time. She would talk to my wife about how her father, when they were married, would want it very frequently from her, sometimes five times in a day (even I couldn't do that)! When she was born, he got it less and less from her, and eventually cheated on her and left her for another woman. Bottom line is, her mother said she never said she didn't enjoy it, but it's something she could do without.
    When we first started doing it, she was in a lot of pain and told me she would never do it again, and to be honest, was already contemplating divorce. I believe her mother told her that she shouldn't be that way and to keep trying. She always wanted a condom on, but when her mother advised her to not use it and try, it was much better and more enjoyable for her.
    The thing I couldn't explain to her, and it's embarrassing to admit, was her asking me, "How do you feel when you're horny?" I couldn't explain that to her, but I did the best I could. She never explored herself, or even think dirty thoughts of herself when she was younger. She really is that innocent, and that surprised the hell out of me! I don't ever think she felt horny before, and I don't think she ever will. She didn't even know why she would randomly "get wet" at times and what it was for!
    I remember I talked to a friend I've known since high school and I told her about this whole situation. When I told her that the reason why my wife makes love to me is because she knows I need it and she loves me so much that she's willing to do that for me because men are "simple animals", she simply replied, "That answer is so Japanese: all duty and obligation and no warmth".
    Anyway, sorry for the extra detail. I just wanted you to see what I've been going through on my end. My wife was an English Major in college, so she speaks it very fluently, so it's not like we can't understand each other. Bottom line: you're right that as long as she does that for me it's all that matters, and that she must love me very much that she's willing to do that for me. I've been looking for an article like this for a long time, and I just happen to come across it last night. Thanks so much again for your reply. It was very helpful!

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    1. Hey David... wow... yeah... your description sums up what I was thinking, but didn't want to say because it wasn't my place. People are different.
      I am sure that her mom's attitude towards sex (perhaps created because of her ex) is understandable, and it was passed down. Five times a day?! If the man worked, that meant the sex had to occur at night, let's say... imagine being a small girl in a room next door hearing your mother constantly cry out... it would be devastating. I'm not saying that happened, of course, but odds are it did. The sins of the father (and mother)...
      Have you guys ever seen a sex therapist? I have no idea if they exist in Japan... I would assume so?
      Still... it seems like your wife is part of that Japanese generation where sex is not considered important or even necessary (though she does so for you)... whereas her mom, and husband were part of that swinging 80s and 90s vibe (of which I guess I was a part of, being in the same stratosphere (age wise as your mother-in-law)... maybe her dad broke her mom. Five times. Maybe once in a while. But, no... that takes up too much time... at least it would or me. Sounds like the old man had issues with issue. I wish I had some cure-all for you, David... it doesn't feel the same when you know someone you love is just 'going through the motions'. I understand your feelings on that.
      Maybe, sex-wise, you need to figure out how to take her to that next orgasmic level... sometimes matter over mind can win out. Orgasms are all mental. Ejaculation is physical... Of course, I'm only assuming she isn't achieving the big O because she's only performing for duty and not for pleasure.
      Pleasure—for both parties (or more) is the key... and she, since she is curious (she is), needs to understand that... and you have to help her understand that... but what the heck do I know? David... if she did get 'wet', she was enjoying herself... and that needs to be explained it was because what was going on was actually enjoyable for her body... you just have to get her to loosen up emotionally. Wow... that sounds harsh... I better end now... again... I don't wish to over-step my bounds, because I am not a professional sexsmith... just an amateur one.

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