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Friday, March 22, 2013

Why Japanese Women Like Gaijin Men

When I recently wrote about why gajin (foreign) men like Japanese women, I chastised people for having such a narrow-minded focus.

Like who you like, of course, but don't do so because of race because it is... well, racist.

While this article opened up a wee bit of a debate, I did receive a string of letters from a gentleman named Aiden who presented some wonderful thoughts and wondered if I would care to sound off on the opposite: Why do Japanese women like gaijin men?

They do. They must. It doesn't matter how much foreign men adore Japanese women if those women do not reciprocate.

Anyhow, whilst twitching my own penis, I already had one answer, as Japanese women assume every single foreigner must be bigger in the equipment department than his Japanese counterpart.

Maybe. But, to be fair... we can go to any country in the world, and you will probably find some guy who has a penis larger than whatever your national average is.

HERE - see my buddy's (Mister Manfred Mann) adult website (How To Survive Women) and a very popular ADULT blog that displays global penis sizes and has garnered some 68,000 hits on this one bit of writing alone. If this were a You Tube video, people might be impressed.

Anyhow, Aidan had some interesting thoughts, and I'm going to reprint a portion of his e-mails to me:


When I was in Japan for my college studies back then on an exchange program, I noticed many of the Japanese women I dated or were dating my peers in the exchange program merely dated us because they say us as "exotic" and because we were "gaijin" instead of us as a person.

Of course, when you find the right woman, she will start to see pass the "gaijin" allure you have and start loving you as a person, but every now and then with an argument she'll pull up the gaijin card, asking me if it was because I was not Japanese that I thought that way, and whoever thinks Japanese women are always submissive has never -ever- been in an argument with one. Never before had I witness polite speech as a way of ridiculing or intent on harm. When we were alone and private, she called me by my first name but when we get into an argument, she starts calling me by my last name with a -san suffix and with an extremely poisonous passive aggressive debate.

However, now that fiesty woman is now my wife and now, at the age of 26, our 3 year anniversary is coming and we are now expecting our first child to be born within the next 3 months.

However, this "gaijin" appeal doesn't apply to just the girl you're dating, because eventually as you go along she'll start seeing you as a person, but to her friends and family.

Her family was nervewrecking, when I met her parents, her older sister, and her younger brother, it felt like a gaijin interrogation. They asked me about how I grew up, my family morals, what I believed in, and most importantly my job and family income (I had nothing to be ashamed, I was pulling in good money at my age with a good education background, but dam* I felt cornered).

It was even nerve wrecking when I answered all of their questions and they just looked at me with uninteresting eyes with responses such as:

そうだね
(souda ne) - Is that right

ほんと
(honto) - Really


This usually happens when you try to appeal to the girl's family in any country, but when it comes with a gaijin feeling to it, you feel the pressure much more.


However it turned out well and thankfully her parents were happy to accept me and eventually even her siblings warmed up to me and when we got married, her father, surprisingly gave me a hug telling me that never would he thought his daughter would marry a gaijin (which disappointed me at first because I thought he still thought of me with a gaijin appeal than me as a person) but I would take care of his daughter better than any men that can be found in Japan, which I was really honored and happy to hear.

Some of my peers weren't so lucky when they tried to marry their girlfriends and got shot down by the girl's parents and the relationship ended because of the mere reason of being a "gaijin". I was lucky that my girlfriend (now wife)'s parents were accepting of me, despite the pressure I felt from them and even though she talks to her parents and siblings with Skype, when they see me or talk to me, their faces have a big smile, the same smile they used among each other to signify a close family member, which makes me feel warm seeing how far we've come to terms with each other.

However, if you plan to go to japan and date a local girl there, be mindful to not look at them as exotic, but having to remind yourself that they will look at YOU as exotic. It feels like a double standard however it's best you do the right thing, even if the whole society does not view you for who you are.

Well - thank-you, Aiden. I could pretty much end this blog right there, but ego prevents me from doing so.

Hey... at least her parents eventually accepted you.

As most of you are aware, I am a brown-skinned Canadian, born in England of parents from India. I know... whoppity-do. I am tall, wide, stupid in math, and have a voice that can melt buttered popcorn (so I am told) and am good in English. I am also a huge nerd and play all brass, woodwinds and keyboard musical instruments, but have the skill and knowledge of more than one martial art and am crazy enough to use it. I also have better than average skills in soccer and baseball, and while I'll never be considered a professional athlete, I'm not going to embarrass myself in front of my kid.

I bring all of this to your attention to show that I have a lot going for me. Back in 1990-1993, I also had a 14-inch long ponytail, a French-cut beard, wore suits to work and was one of the first men to wear teal - especially in Japan. I also had an earring, and liked to flash a bit of bling wearing my black star sapphire ring with five diamonds on an 18-carat gold ring. I also had at least three gold chains on, two watches (one per wrist), a hairy chest covered up far too often for my liking and a sense of humour that is supposedly humourous. Who the hell knows.

Having been a qualified piano and clarinet teacher, coached soccer for eight years, been the first community college student to get into the Toronto Star newspaper Summer Internship Program - the world was my freaking oyster.

I thought - for the first time in my life - that I was hot sh!t. Of course... by the time I got to Japan at the age of 25, I was still a virgin. So, hot or not, I still had that problem filling me with self-doubt every time I looked at a woman.

But... a few weeks into Japan - it was over. By the end of my first year, It was over maybe 10 times - and by that, I mean with 5 different women... by the end of the second year, I was up to 18 women, and by the time I left Japan after my third year - 28 women.

While I initially was afraid to talk to Japanese women because I simply couldn't dig the lingo, I soon got over that hump.

The question of whether or not I like Japanese women is irrelevant. I like women. I don't care where they are from. I know what I like when I see it... and that goes for women too - not that I am calling them 'it'.

While I had indeed slept with some 28 women in three years, and dated maybe close to 40, and could have had a few more notches in the old bed post, I had a steady girlfriend (pretty much) for a year, and another for six months plus.

I did okay considering my fair to middling looks... and yet,of all those opportunities, only once did I ask a woman out.

Every other time... I was asked out by the women. Both gaijin and Japanese women.

Japan was/is totally unlike anything I had known in Canada, and I bet most guys would say that those types of odds are nothing like what they have in their country.

So... forget about whether or not gaijin (foreign) men adore Japanese women - it actually takes two to tango (three to form a conga line, and one to do the twist). Rather, the point is that even if foreign guys want to date a Japanese woman, they don't have to go out with you unless they themselves want to go out with you.

Do Japanese woman want to go out with foreign men? Judging by the number of foreign guys who have a Japanese woman on their arm while strolling around the country, one would have to offer a resounding 'YES!'

But why do Japanese women want to go out with us dumb foreign guys?

Believe it or don't, I actually had quite a few female Japanese friends with whom I did not sleep with - but probably would have if I thought I could.

We talked about dating - and about dating foreign men - and about the things foreign men did/do that drove them crazy.

Truth be told, there was little difference between foreign men and Japanese men in regards to how they drove the Japanese women crazy. Sometimes... a guy can be - regardless of upbringing, or country of birth, or economic standing, or religion - a complete dick.

Regardless... why would a Japanese woman want to go out with a foreign guy - especially when foreigners are called 'gaijin'... which despite me saying it means 'foreigner', actually means 'outsider'. There is a difference, of course, but I don't believe the Japanese utilize the word very often to mean a derogatory term.

Why Japanese Women Will Date A Gaijin: 

1) Exotic. Gaijin men aren't the only ones who want an exotic piece of arm candy... Japanese women do too. Sometimes, especially the young ones, just want to say that they have dated/screwed a foreigner. I had a lot of dates and one-night stands because of that. I knew that going in to these dates, and that was fine. It was flattering to be considered someone's prize. And yes... this is what Aiden said.

2) Size: I hate going on about it - because not all Japanese have a tiny penis, and not all foreigners have a large one. In fact, if you look at the How To Survive Women blog, and look up Indian men, they are at the low end of the stick. I'm not. If I went to India, I could have ruled the sub-continent porno industry with my King Cobra, even though I'm just your better-than-average Canadian. While not every woman believes that bigger is better (that's what they tell you. They lie.), they would prefer bigger if you had it. With a foreign man - that is a greater possibility than with a Japanese man. Whatever. That's according to averages... and for every smaller-than-average guy, there's a larger-than-average guy to create the average.

3) Chauvinism: Japanese men are perceived to be sexist bastards. I observed it while I lived in Japan. It might even be true now (it is). But, after more and more foreign men enter the meet/meat market in Japan, Japanese women are discovering that foreign men may actually be less chauvinistic. (Pretty much all men are chauvinistic in one way shape or form, I'm sorry to say.) (I'm just being a realist - even about myself.) Not every foreign guy is great, but many of us - myself, Matthew and Jeff, for example - had no problem in going out of our way to make our women the center of our universe. And not just when we thought people were watching us. All the time. That probably changes a bit as you get married and have to live with'em, but that's what happens in damn near every marriage/relationship. Familiarity breeds contempt. And children.

4) A Way Out: Dating a gaijin can lead to a different way of life for the Japanese woman. A chance to travel. A chance to eat different foods. A chance to not be so 'Japanese'. A chance to expand who they are as a person. The gaijin mate provides that opportunity.

5) You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman. Yes... I do think that non-Japanese men treat women differently than Japanese men. I have no proof of that, though. Just a gut feeling. Maybe no worse, or no better, but things are different. Maybe it's a willingness to express ourselves better - to show our vulnerabilities. Maybe it's more of a take-charge attitude. Maybe it's because we treat them more as equals than as 'women'. Maybe. Not all men do that, regardless of where they are from. But I did/do.

6) Daddy Issues: Maybe it's just me, but I haven't met a woman yet who didn't have daddy issues of some kind. Maybe it's just me (again), but most of the women  I dated - their parents, and especially their daddy would not have approved of me. Especially in Japan.... where it was obvious that I was just going to be a passing ship in the night... that I was just the usual gaijin man who wanted to screw Japanese women. All bull crap of course (for me). For the right woman, I would still be in Japan. Noboko had her chance (much later story - one that still hurts - I always seem to find women who can do that to me - accidentally or not). So... it is my belief, that, in some cases, a Japanese woman may go out with a bad boy (gaijin or not) just to make their daddy squirm. Did I do that to Noboko's dad? He was the boss of all the Junior High School Teachers in Tochigi-ken (my prefecture). It was an important position (so I am told). Despite me being one of the more popular AETs on the JET Programme (my ego maniacal opinion after being told so by a few high ranking Japanese Programme officials), I am afraid that my out-going personality (I created that after arriving in Japan - or I simply came out of my shell), wild sense of humor and perpetual grin may have seemed to many a Japanese suit as though I was an ass-clown. Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe I was just happy. Noboko was afraid to tell her dear old dad that we were dating, and asked that we keep our relationship as secret as possible. Sure. There's a double standard in Japan, though. Women who date gaijin men MUST be having sex before marriage - ergo, and I use that word correctly (maybe), she must be a slut. Now... we were sleeping together, but she wanted to keep the sex out of the public's knowledge and just have us appear to be friends. She lived with her parents after moving back to this area to teach at one of my schools... but she may have been correct about image. Her father could indeed have lost the all-important "FACE" amongst his colleagues if it was discovered that his beautiful daughter was dating a stupid gaijin AET (assistant English teacher) who was only here for a few more months before his third and final (at the time) contract was up and he would have to go back to Canada. I saw her point. But... I also think she did not give her father the benefit of a doubt - that maybe he cared more for her happiness than his prestigious job. That was naive thinking on my part. The Japanese male job trumps all. Even love. That sucks. So... she did have Daddy Issues... but in this case, it wasn't to get back at him. Or was it? Maybe she did want the world to find out... because one Sunday afternoon, when we traveled to another city (Utsunomiya) to see a movie, some of our students saw us holding hands while walking down the street. Unsurprisingly, the next school day... we were the talk of the school. The jig was up. A day later, her father found out. To be honest, my own OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) Office knew (they asked if she and I were dating after seeing the way we looked at each other at some teacher event - and I would not lie to these people - so I told them the truth but begged them not to tell - they did NOT). Later that night she called me in a panic because her father was royally pissed at her. I asked her what she wanted to do... she asked if she could come over and spend the night. Aha! So she did want to piss him off! There's more... but that will be revealed once I pick up where my diary left off again. Soon...

7) Could it be love? Yes, sometimes a woman wants to go out with a man because she either likes him, really likes him, or loves him. Do I think that Noboko used me for any of the above? No. It might have looked like it, but I know we were in love... but it probably did help (and hinder) things, that I was a gaijin.

Anyhow, for better or for worse... that's my view on why Japanese women like gaijin men. I could be completely wrong, completely right or somewhere in between.

Thoughts?

Cheers
Andrew Joseph
PS: The beautiful Japanese woman above is Uchiyama Rina, a Japanese actress born the day before my birthday in 1981...

55 comments:

  1. Per Wikipedia, she was born in 1981 - not 1991 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rina_Uchiyama); now suddenly more "do-able"? :-P

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    1. Thanks - corrected! - and yet no comment for the kudos for the way we treated our women?

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  2. I think media stereotypes have a lot to do with the choices women make. For example, the stereotypical Indian male in the USA or Canada, is seen as a nerd with no social skills and a huge desire to go bed with a white woman. In addition he does not want a long term relationship, because eventually he will go and have an arranged marriage with a girl of his own caste. There is nothing sexy about him!! This stereotype is so strong that we don't even find porn that involves an Indian male and a white female! It is just doesn't sell!
    On another tack, do you think you would have enjoyed the same level of sucess if you had been an indian from india rather than a Canadian of Indian origin?

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    1. No Social Skills? That's why call centers are rampant in India? And why the streets are usually loud

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  3. Lets not get too biased on Japanese guys and girls now....

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    1. You are correct, of course. Every culture has its own quirks, and unfortunately, I focus on Japan, which doesn't mean everyone fits the profile. It was my experience, and opinion, that many did fit the options I provided here. Many did not, but most did.
      But yeah, people tend to think Japanese guys or Japanese women are the cat's meow, when the discerning factor should not be nationality but rather personality.

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  4. I have a question. A late friend of mine who spent a couple of years in Japan once told me that Japanese people speak in "riddles." And he gave an example saying that, "If you ask a Japanese woman, "Would you like to have lunch together," what she thinks you're saying is, "Will you go to bed with me?"
    Is there any truth to this? Seems far-fetched to me...then again I know little about Japanese culture.

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  5. That "Anonymous" question about "riddles" is from me. I just joined this site.

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    1. No, my friend... no truth at all. A Japanese woman speaks in riddles the same way an American woman speaks in riddles.
      If you ask a woman (from any country) out for lunch, she's 'thinking' - hmmm, is this really lunch or does he want to have sex with me.
      The truth is, we probably do want to go to bed with them, but no... sometimes a hot dog on a bun is just a hot dog on a bun.
      Japanese people do NOT speak in riddles.
      There is a truth (of sorts) that says the Japanese people don't like to say "No" to you, and so have about 47 different ways of saying maybe, including my favorite - sucking air IN through the teeth as they sort of wince.
      Thank you for the honest question.
      Cheers

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  6. An interesting point about this is you saying that most girls asked you for the date. My experience is totally the opposuite - to me girls are very shy in asking for dates or to start kissing or sex itself. My ratio,though I have also dated many Japanese girls, would be the other way around - i had to ask 90% of them fr a date, not them ask me. And I am generally thought to be a handsome guy by many Japanese ladies (sorry, but that's what Ive been told). I wonder what you think about this?

    One possible reason is that the culture has changed. I have heard from various gajin in Japan that in the 80s and 90s that Japanese girls made much more effort for gajin men than they do now.

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    1. The culture change is quite probably a good reason... location is another. I came off as being an extrovert, but up close when they saw me, I was an introvert... shy... lost... they made more of an effort to get to know me... to get to know the extrovert me...
      No need to apologize about being considered handsome, either! But... you said maybe 90% were asked out by you... that still makes 10% that asked YOU.
      I have found that my odds are so beyond the norm it's not even funny.
      You'll note that I was also quite willing to date foreign women while in Japan... something most foreign men had no intention of doing...
      Why did they ask me out? I didn't look like other foreigners - being tall, brown, funny, intelligent... sorta good-looking, partier.... I was in shape then, too!! A lot of women had either never met or talked to an Indian-looking man before. Not everyone is from a big city... I was a bit exotic... and without the sterotypes associated with Indian men.
      I think that also played a role with the Japanese women... they hadn't seen a guy like me before...
      Damn... you made me write a blog...
      Cheers!

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  7. So what brought you to japan again? And did you have to learn japanese?

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    1. I'm not in Japan now. I am a distant observer.
      I went the first time because it was an opportunity to expand my narrow view of the world... all I knew was Toronto. I also wanted to get away from Toronto and see if women might like me elsewhere. Sounds stupid, but true.
      I went back to Japan because I was in love with a woman there... and I wanted to see if we could make our relationship work somehow...

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    2. That is very interesting. I'm also technically Indian but born and raised in America. I'm still young, still kinda finding my way. I've always wanted to get out of america for a while and experience something better. And I've also always found japanese women very attractive. I'd love to hear more of your story or get aadvice

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    3. Kishan - hi.
      If you want to read more of my story - look at the first three years of this blog - they ones with a rock and roll headline... those are about me. My ups and downs.
      You could also search within this blog the keywords: Ashley, Kristine, Christine, Karen, Nobuko, Junko. Or look for dating in Japan... but advice? Depends, my friend. On how to date Japanese women? On how to survive Japan? It's always tough to say... I can only state how I felt or dealt with things... but a lot depends on one's personality, ego, knowledge and sense of humour... in other words... every person and situation is different and what happened to me will not happen to you - except having a good time.
      Important note... Japanese women are attractive... but what do you think makes them attractive (in your opinion)? How are they different from the Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, Korean, Cambodian, Laotion - as a few examples of Asia... Women are, above all else, people. There's good, bad, big, small, and whatever floats your boat in defining attractiveness...
      Sure - ask away... just note that I might make it into a blog...
      Cheers and thanks for writing.


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  8. Hi, my name is mark and 1 day in the future, I will go to Japan for a few months, not soon because of financial situations and my age, and also those incidents in 2012 I beleive it was. Anyway, all of my questions have been answered but 1, has any one with a southern accent been to Japan and if so, did you receive negativity about it,? I'm from longview Texas and people here say I have that thick east Texas accent and the girls here love it, should I be ready to receive negativity in Japan about it though?

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    1. Hi Mark... a thick Texas accent? Cool. Don't worry about that. The JET Programme - or visiting and teaching or working in Japan is much more than simply having what is perceived to be a neutral accent.
      If every JET had to have US or Canadian national newscaster accent (neutral), no one would be allowed to work in Japan if they were from the UK, Australia or New Zealand!
      Pronunciation is the key. Don't speak in clipped colloquialisms.
      I'm sure your accent is cool.
      Ashley (my girlfriend) had a bit of a Georgian southern accent - turn on!
      I knew AETS with thick Scottish burrs, Cockney - 'ello guv - voices, Aussies and Kiwis with accents so thick you'd wonder if they were speaking English.
      But... what I did notice... was when speaking English to the Japanese... they slowed down, and enunciated.
      Read a book out loud. That will help.
      Mark... that was an excellent question. But... if you are a JET hopeful - make sure you have the educational and leadership qualities that will make you stand out above the rest.
      Your vocal stylings... yes... be concerned... but not overly. If you are mumbling like the guys on King Of The Hill - damn. Avoid using the phrase "I tell ya what", continue to use the good grammar you showed in your letter above... slow down... read books out loud... and be confident in yourself.
      Cheers, brother.



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  9. Hey Andrew, this is slightly different in where I met a Japanese woman here in the states, in NYC. It was at a "meet up" spot where we exchange languages etc. We spoke for a bit. her English is pretty good. I was able to hold a conversation with her. We ended up exchange info/contact. She was sitting at one table with a group and so I decided to move to another table with another group. So I did. I realized after that I left my water bottle at the table I was at before so I went back to get it and she was still there talking to another woman. I reached for the water bottle. But the water bottle was in between her and the woman and I had no choice but to grab it in between them because of how they were sitting at the table. Once I picked it up in the angle I did from beside her, she looked up at me with her beautiful big phoenix like eyes and smiled. So I looked at her and did the same thing. Anyway, the group parted ways. I text her and asked if she wants to skype that same night and she said yes. So we skyped for about twenty minutes or so and planned to hang out this time alone. I have kept in touch with her through txt after that and she's been cool. Not to mention she said during our skype chat that I could ask her any question in which I didn't have any to ask at the time lol. But now that her school year has started, she doesn't reply as quickly as she did before because she's busy but she does respond eventually. Want you to give your take on this. Since you are more familiar with Japanese women than I am, what do you think?

    Thanks!

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    1. No advice... just an observance, as you have requested.
      First off... while not impossible, long-distance relationships are always difficult.
      But... are you BOTH in NYC?
      Look... this is the 1st week of university of classes... it's long and confusing and very difficult.
      She's here for an education. Period. A boyfriend? Hopefully.
      Is the problem ONLY the past few days?
      If so... chillax. She is being over-loaded with stimuli.
      If it was the week or two leading up to school... chillax... she was nervous about school
      My friend... just chillax anyways. Do people still say chillax? I don't. I'm trying to be hip like the kiddies. LOL!
      Seriously... she is still responding, right. That's good.
      When she doesn't - ever - that's a problem.
      I couldn't even begin to tell you of a personal issue like this, so I won't.
      This is NOT a Japanese woman thing, my friend.
      This is not even a woman thing.
      This is a person thing. A student thing. Someone who, at the moment, is more concerned about not screwing up in school, than anything else.
      My take? Everything is fine. Just have patience. You know she's busy. Sometimes... even a person who is perfect for you, and you for them... sometimes busy happens.
      Chillax. Give it as much time and effort as you WANT... but don't become obsessive. Been there, done that. It sucks. There's nothing wrong with being in love, lust or severe like and hope that it leads at least to some great sex. But, just be patient.


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  10. Ok cool! No she's here in NYC as well. We met at a meet up here in the city. She's 23 yrs old and I'm 31. Ironically we share the same birthday, month, day, but different year of course. No I'm not obsessive at all, just like to keep in touch every now and then.

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  11. ......and yes it's just been since last Thursday so yea.

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    1. Good.
      I appreciate the question - thinking I might have some advice is very flattering.
      I do hope it works out.
      The girl has to eat... so you have to try and at least buy her dinner - even if it's on campus... do what you have to do without being pushy. Every woman hates that. Maybe. Some take it as a sign that you REALLY like them. Women. I love'em, but they confuse me, too.

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  12. Cool! Yep, that's what I plan on doing. Dinner and perhaps a movie or something. But thanks though!

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  13. One thing I've noticed, is if you have a way of making a status in Japanese culture, the family will respect you more.

    I became a shugenjya, and then a made a "monk" (I don't live as an ascetic though, haha) by Yamabushi. The locals treated me very special, gave me gifts, and I was much more respected than the first time I went to Japan.

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  14. I HAVE NEVER READ AN ARTICLE WHERE THE AUTHOR CONTINUES TO GUSH ON AND ON ABOUT HIMSELF. SOMEONE THAT BRAGS ABOUT THEIR DICK SIZE SUCH AS YOU AND YOUR "COBRA" OR MOST LIKELY SPORTING AN EARTH WORM. GET OVER YOURSELF.

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    1. It's meant to be funny. Get over your lack of a sense of humor. At least I don't hide behind an anonymous moniker and criticize others. I don't even give a shit about leaving your comment up. It's your opinion and you are entitled to it. Others know better.

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  15. What the hell was the reference to indian men about ? India is ethnically very diverse, and most of the ethnicities are caucasoids, sharing land space with local tribals ( astraloids ) , africans( negroids) and mongloids ( must have been this group targetted for the survey).

    So your theories of being a pornstar in india are pretty funny laughable fantasies of a feminine race, who think they are better than everyone else, just because their west sponsored economy is considered as a first world.


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    1. I know... I too think the measurements are all screwy. besides... it was all for laughs. Lighten up. Do they still use the term Mongoloids? It was in reference to the sub-species of the human race that scientific journals back in the 30s used to describe the natives of Australia...

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    2. I believe the term Mongoloid is still occasionally referred to, and it includes most people in asia. It's not meant to be derogatory, but still I can see how it may not sound so politically correct these days.

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  16. Just stumbled upon this - thanks for the interesting read. I lived in tokyo in the early 90's for several years and i changed my life forever.These girls will teach you how to be a man or ruin you and leave you in pool of your own tears.

    Do they like gaijin -In those days it seems were more to be played with and arm candy if you will.Im not complaining -it was great.When those deeper feeling arise its a whole different story.The japanese have different levels of love and gaijin can either take advantage of this or get their heart broke real quick.On a "fun" level you cant beat the way they alow themselves to enjoy for enjoyment sake unlike western women wo for the most part dont know how to enjoy men at all anymore.

    But when things get serious in the western mans head and heart you need to know who you are dealing with and that requires many years of expierience with japanese women and a good understanding of their language and culture.Women of any culture are capable of many levels of deceit and kindness as well. If you want to play and keep your heart out of it you will have the time of your life but most men need love at some point its just a question of how real it is or not.Where i live now in the states there are many men marrying japanese women and most of them are divorced within a few years.These men get played when the should have got payed ! Men tend to see what they want to see and some of these women are more than happy to do what it takes to get ahead or atleast out of japan. I was not always like this - when their economy was good back in the day the women did not care about getting out so much but now they know the west is were they need to be because japan is going down a dark road and in their society women are on the bottom.

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  17. I've been reading and picking your blog apart all night. Ive had a crisis of faith along with 3 friends and we have this hair-brained plan to all move to Japan because of our love of the culture, location, women, money. In particular I've been traveling a lot lately looking for something that I cant hold or touch, an idea, without knowing what it is. I'll know it when I find it but I've always wanted to teach, travel, share and take in other cultures and have considered the JET program as well as ESL/EFL teaching. You have literally sold three of us completely on going, two us who are likely to never come back to the US. I'm going to visit a religious philosopher then I'm off to climb to the top of Oahu. As soon as I get back I think you've given me the little motivation I was lacking to unrelentlessly pursue the aforementioned goals. Thank you for that!

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    1. Cardinal Syn... enjoy the climb... but... let me ask you one thing... what's wrong with Hawaii? Crime? The beautiful women? airplane crashes (lost), cops (Hawaii 5-0), the sale of great homes (the Magnum PI estate)?.. Hey... Japan IS pretty nice... but you only take out what you put in.
      Tokyo is a big city... so maybe consider something smaller? Yokohama? Someplace near Fuji?
      Hope the mountain climb was refreshing - the same with the visit to the religious philosopher!
      Let me know what's going on.

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    2. I live in the Ozark mountains, so nothing is wrong with Hawaii except I don't live there and its prohibitively expensive to do so. I'm a considerably talented academic and between a friend of mine, Mitsuoki, and other people who've lived there in the past I'm told my values more closely resemble East Asian ideals than Western. I've always been an outsider here so being an outsider there isn't all that different except I get payed 3x more, get to travel to a place more culturally rich than the South, and it's something different.

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  18. An intersting testimony, but the way you speak about yourself is disgusting.
    A kind of overconfident sex addicted. After having watched a few Bollywood film, i think it's a comon for people of your ethnicity. Males chauvinis thinking to be wonderful. I see it with people from India being financialy succesful in the US. Such arrogant and unfriendly people.
    Neverless looking to the scholl programms in the USA and Canda compared to Europe you are all under educated.

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    1. Welcome to the racist comment... I've never been to scholl, what's that? But yeah, you dumb ass redneck, the schools in the USA and Canada are better... that's why many immigrants come over, hoping to have a better education for their kids.
      It's why my parents came over. Plus, a higher standard of living. Better health, security... and once you get used to the racists like yourself, it's the best place to live.
      I've never watched a Bollywood movie... but I love how you think that movies determine what a people/race is like. What are you effing nuts? By that logic (LOL), Americans are all violent, drug-running mutants and Canadians only live boring lives waiting for the next filmmaker to create a documentary about whales.
      Indians as a race are generally arrogant and unfriendly? Wow... why would you say that?
      Yeah... I have confidence, but if you ever read anything else I wrote, you'd learn that my confidence only bloomed in Japan.
      Sex addict? Nope. Just a regular guy who enjoys doing it.
      Anyhow, Anonymous - if that is your real name - what was your point in writing, aside from wishing to spew your racist views?
      Should I write about someone else's time in Japan? I write about myself - most times in a self-deprecating manner.
      Still... thanks... I'm pretty sure I can come up with a good story or two on your comment... hmm... do I really want to track down your IP address? I've got a program...
      Ah, who cares? I don't. Go read someone else's blog.

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  19. Would there be an issue me dating Japanese woman in Japan because I don't look gaijin due to the fact that I am Korean ? I mean I do live in US but I had 0 chance on dating Japanese women because they kept telling me I don't look white, black or mixed , or Hispanic/brown or whatsoever.

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  20. Out of curiosity how many women would hit on gaijin men based on your experience and what you saw from others (coworkers, friends etc.)?

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    1. Plenty, actually. After one year, darn near every gaijin male that wanted a girlfriend had one.
      Now... you did say Japanese women 'hitting on gaijin men"... hmmm... a tough one. I was hit on in a bar often - but only when I was sitting there alone looking pathetic (easy for me). At office parties, women would get drunk and flirt more... but ZERO, as far as I can tell in a normal work environment. Japan does have a code of conduct.
      I flunked that when I hit on a Japanese teacher... but then, so did all the other male Japanese teachers who hit on her as well.
      There are plenty of bars in larger towns and smaller towns where Japanese women go to gaijin pick-up joints... I've only heard of such places (in a book: Hello, My Name Is Loco and I Am A Racist, for example) and not been in a bar described as such.
      When I was picked up in a bar, I was by myself... and so were they. So they were looking for companionship - regardless of race.
      My pals Jeff, Martin and Matthew all married Japanese women while I was in Japan (three years)... but mostly it was us guys hitting on the women.

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  21. That penis size "resource" has bullshit citations and racist origins if you look into it. The amount of people that blindly accepts data without checking citations makes me lose hope in humanity

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    1. Lose hope in humanity?
      People just look at the stupid numbers and don't read that there is no way in hell that the numbers can be accurate.
      Racist? In what way? How do you know - what proof do you have? Look, I'm curious - please share where you got that information...
      The blog states that the numbers aren't accurate...
      If people take something as fact after that - that's their problem.
      Lose hope in humanity? Really? How sad.

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  22. Short answer: to help with their English.

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  23. Okay, first of all, the average Indian size is actually 5.54 inches according to the National Library of Medicine and second, as an Indian person, you should quit downgrading East Asian men like your doing. We should attack whites, not a group of humans who usually don't bother us as much.

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  24. Women love variety too. That is why men will keep on wondering why their women love the other race.

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  25. Hey there, wonderful and candid blog of your honest views. Since you seemed transparent, I wanted to ask a quick question even though I'm entirely late on this post. I am HIGHLY considering studying abroad in Japan for 7-8 weeks. I will surely have to take a loan out for this trip. My question to you is this: Based off of your familiarity and experience in Japan, will I enjoy the 2 month trip enough to make it worth it in the end? Much appreciated!

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    1. Hi Nick - Yes. Short answer.
      Longer answer - it depends... studying abroad for 8 week? Japanese, I assume? Or maybe it's history or social culture... Studying Japanese - it'll be fun and it will wet your whistle for further studying... anything else - too short.
      If it was just a vacation - yes - no problem... but I wonder how much 'fun' you'll be able to get into in 2 weeks if you are studying.
      Also - it depends on your age. If you are a high schooler - you'll hopefully be on an exchange program - and it will definitely be a learning experience.
      Same for university - except Japanese university students don't seem to do much studying - parrr-tee. It depends also if you stay with a family or with other like-minded students as yourself... both have pluses and minuses... though the Japanese family homestay has much fewer minuses... you are under their rules... but that's probably a good thing.
      If you are out of school and are looking for studying - you know what your goals are and will enjoy the experience.
      To be honest, Nick, I haven't heard of any bad studying abroad experiences.
      Obviously it depends on whether you are in Tokyo (or other big city) versus a small town, but I think being thrown into the deep-end, so to speak, is good.
      I walked in to Japan knowing nothing about the country, its customs or language. I survived and had a great time. If you are studying, you'll have others like you around you to show you the ropes (as I did on JET), so it won't be scary.
      Hmm... 2 months is such a short time... but dammit... I always say you have to take every opportunity and go with it. If you can afford it. That's key. As well as if the studying will lead to better opportunities for you later. You know this, obviously...
      I can't tell you one way or the other Nick, if it will be WORTH it in the end, but I can say that as long as you go to Japan and do what you are supposed to do - study - the rest will take care of itself. Be positive there and always be positive there (and elsewhere) and you'll make it work for you.
      Hope I was of some help. Feel free to ask me anything anytime.
      Cheers
      AJ

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  26. Some forty years ago I met a very beautiful and cute Japanese woman. We were both married, she had a child but we both fell crazily in love. My (second) wife was a nymphomaniac and so was another girl fried at that time but my new Japanese heavenly angel was hotter than hellfire. We have been living together since, married, and have a wonderful son and an incredibly cute grandson. I never in my life met a better woman for me than my Japanese wife. If there is re-incarnation after death, I want to live with her again. If impossible, then I will search for another Japanese woman in my next life. THERE IS NO ANY OTHER CHOICE!

    Actually my daughter from a previous marriage, her daughter from her previous marriage, as well as our son all have fully comprehended the reality of our great love and now we are all one large happy family. Just incredible!

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  27. You are not a "brown skinned Canadian". Canadians are white! You are an east indian parasite that happened to be born in Canada! You will always be indian so don't try to pass yourself off as anything else!

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    1. ok. By the way, I finally tracked down your IP address. We can talk more if you like, now that I know who you are. Hmm, what to do with that information?

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  28. Amazing to see the haters here. Loved the info. Well written. Thank you.

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    1. It sort of gives a point of reference for everyone else as to how we are as human beings. Thanks for the kind comments, Matthew.

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  29. Anonymous is a paracite himself....

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  30. You could have ruled the Indian Sub-continent with your Cobra? Talk about an ego maniac.

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    1. I'm just having fun, d'uh. Thanks for taking the time to be such an insulting you-know-what. Love the name, you brave, brave person.

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