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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Ex-ter-minate! Ex-ter-minate! Wasps Must Die!

Speaking as a guy who is going to have to take out a wasp nest situated in the plastic box holding all of my TV cabling, I am always interested in discovering if there is a safer way to kill insects without me having to get too close.

The wasps at my place (here in Toronto) are the classic yellow and black bastards, but they are also sharing space with some purply-blue and black wasps…

Since this is a blog about Japan, I though I'd see if the Japanese had any interesting ways of dealing with wasps.

Turns out they did. Or do. Tough to tell...

Back in the autumn of 2010, a Japanese professor from Utsunomiya-shi (the capital city of Tochigi-ken) in Japan showed the world his Mohican, a wasp-killing robot that is able to climb ladders… but I'd be damned if I can figure out how it actually kills the wasps. And will it also kill hornets?

The robot is called the Mohican because of its stylistic faux hawk ( a real Mohawk has the hair shaves at the sides, while a faux hawk maintains the hair at the side).

Wasps… why the hell don't the Japanese do what I do and buy a nasty ass spray and kill the bastards as they sleep while giggling hideously and muttering 'Die! Die!'

Apparently the main reason the Japanese don't want to get close enough to the critters to use a spray bottle, is that the Asian hornet is a bad ass with a 1/4-inch long stinger.

Built by Professor Sekine after he heard that his exterminator friend was stung 90 times while doing his job, the Mohican is remote controlled and voice-controlled.

Wait... stun 90 times? No, not all at once… but over many exterminating jobs.

It seems to me that rather than inventing this cool humanoid robot, the professor could have helped make his friend's clothing more… airtight? Eureka! Duct tape where the sleeves meet the gloves!

While I like the fact that Professor Sekine built a 5'-6" robot wasp killer… and gave it a cool faux hawk… and even gave her a feminine Japanese look because looking after the household has always been a feminine job…

… but why did he give the wasp killing robot boobs?

Do the boobs do anything, or, like in real life, are they mostly just for show?

(I forgot about breast feeding for a moment…)

If I squeeze the wasp killer robot's tits, will it shoot out a bug-killing mist?

If I tweak its nipples while nibbling gently on the back of her neck, while it drop a puddle of fluid that will eradicate an ant hill?

And what if I should gently rub myself between its butt cheeks… will I get arrested?

Seriously though… was there a real reason why the wasp killing robot had boobs? How did the professor determine how big or small they should be?

Did he go that extra step and provide nipples?

How the fug does this robot kill wasps?

Man... I had to read some 14 different articles of the same thing to determine that answer.

It seems that the robot climbs the ladder, and then she sprays the wasps with an insecticide contained within a bottle she is holding.

This is funny.

Since the cost of such a robot defies practicality for the average person, I would imagine that these fembots could be better utilized by those in the exterminator buzz, I mean, biz.

People like his 90x stung exterminator buddy.

Has this wasp killer been made and utilized? Made yes. Utilized by others other than the professor - I'm going to say no.

Aside from the photo at the very top, I can find no other graphic evidence that the robot does what it is supposed to do. As well... there's no video of it in action.

Could this all be a nutty professor making the news merely beecause he's nutty? No idea.

I would imagine the costs to purchase and run such a robot would outweigh the cost of duct tape.

Somewhere looking up a skirt,
Andrew Joseph 
The title is courtesy of my masters the Daleks from Doctor Who.

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