Usually, when commissioning a crime, your typical bad guy has to watch out for imaginary people like Batman or Spider-man. But they aren't usually found in Japan.
As such… when you are a criminal… you pretty much just have to watch out for the cops.
And… it is therefore in your best interests to not contact the police while performing an illegal activity.
Let's take a look at Japan's current stupidest criminals.
It was reported that sometime last week, Japanese police in Osaka arrested six pornography dealers after they mailed their porno catalogs to the Osaka police chief's house by mistake.
Hidaka Toshiharu (surname first), 27, and a five other men were arrested by the Osaka Police Department and charged with the intent to sell obscene materials in Osaka.
For your information, showing penetration or the touching of sexual organs is prohibited in Japanese pornography. In magazines, a big black dot is placed over such images, or in movies, it is digitally blurred, like this:
|This is either a pornographic image of woman being double-penetrated or a painting by noted cubist Paul Klee.|
Hell... between 1990-1992, I had no idea Japanese porno videos were obscured because I always got mine unscrambled through my Japanese friends - fellow teachers and bar buddies. When I received one that was scrambled in 1993, I was confused and not less than a little disappointed.
And yes... even though I was getting enough sex to satisfy the U.S. seventh fleet (the one present in Asia), I was a normal guy (sort of) and had my own little porno collection that I sometimes watched with various girlfriends and by myself.
If a guy tells you he doesn't masturbate, he's lying, very religious or 10-years-old.
Our six pornographers had been sending out catalogs - lists - of their illegal Japanese Adult Video DVDs… and here's where they became stupid…
Rather than mailing out the catalogs to a known subscriber base, they were sending out the catalogs, by mail, to random male customers. I'll repeat that... random mailings...
Now… one mistake could be deadly… but these idiots actually sent three sets of the same catalog to the Osaka Chief of Police.
Could it get any worse? Sure! These are currently Japan's stupidest criminals, after all!
When the police raided Hidaka's sticky office in Osaka, they found and seized around 280,000 uncensored pornographic DVDs. As well, police also found about 7,000 erectile dysfunction pills.
|Get your heart-on!|
Why would anyone want pills that can cause erectile dysfunction?
What? … Oh…
Still… erectile dysfunction pills and porno movies?
Just how bad are these Japanese A-V's (adult-videos)?
And… just because it sounds stupid… the Osaka Police Department says it suspects that the pills found at Hidaka's office may have been obtained illegally.
Japan—It's A Wonderful Rife hopes so. Because if 7,000 pills was a prescription, then I suspect that the pornography charges are the least of the head pornographer's problems.
Still… in prison, Hidaka may enjoy all the anal sex he can handle. And he won't even need his pills.
And coming to the end of this blog… it was also reported that all six of our dastardly criminal masterminds have admitted their guilt to the police.
Now... whose lawyer do I talk to about getting a catalog?