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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Japanese Know-it-all - A Joke

Here's a joke sent to me this morning… I've changed the 'original' ending to make it more understandable to more people. I'll also offer an explanation at the end, just in case… and then you can have a laugh, one way or the other.

Let's begin in a typical Canadian school in the City of Toronto… oh… let's say Grade 9.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good! Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"
Again, no response except from Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing. "Let's try one a bit more difficult. Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'?"
Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Japs."
"Who said that? I want to know right now!" she angrily demanded.
Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! Now who said that?"
Again, Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little bastich! If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."
That's when the teacher fainted.
As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh nuts!! We're screwed!"
Akio said quietly, "The City of Toronto, if Rob Ford gets re-elected as mayor."
Akio should get out of the hospital in a couple of days.

If it's not that funny to you, insert your favorite crappy politician in as the punchline. I chose Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford because he's been in the news - globally - for almost the entire past year owing to his admitting smoking crack cocaine with some disreputable city voters of the gang-banger variety while being secretly video recorded after denying he did such a thing for months (the video was up for public sale at one time) , public intoxication a few times, drunk and raving about killing someone while being secretly video recorded, using racial slurs, possible misuse of funds to finance a high school football team he coaches in his spare time, his commenting about his innocence of cheating on his wife by implying he enjoys performing cunnilingus on his wife, so why would he stray, associating with drug dealers, denying he knows the drug dealer and then admitting he does as a friend only and not as a business associate, appearances on American TV talk shows and newscasts.... and far too many incidents to list. He has had his mayoral powers stripped from him meaning he's a figurehead Mayor without any real power. Allegedly.

I will say that I have met Mayor Rob Ford in a professional capacity and I found him to be quite approachable, engaging and personable. I've also seen him walking about the soccer pitches where I coached last summer dressed in a suit and tie in the height of the Toronto summer shaking hands and talking to people and having his picture taken with smiles all around.

That said, he's running again for the office of Mayor of Toronto and is one of the front-runners.

And Japan thinks it has political problems... at least they have Akio.

Andrew Joseph

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