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Friday, March 14, 2014

Player 1

There are many reasons why I have refrained from writing about my own life in Japan for about a year—the main one being that things were good... and being good, it's boring.

Not boring for me, of course, as there was lots of kissing and hugging, licking and naughty probing… see… you're getting uncomfortable, or are loosening your clothing in anticipation.

No need.

I was at the point in my real and true story where Noboko and I were officially a couple—at least as far as the two of us were concerned, all of the issues regarding her incorrect belief that I had got some other woman pregnant and had abandoned that woman were finally put to rest, as I had done nothing of the sort.

Even if I had got someone pregnant, I am the type of person who will not shrivel from the issue and will be there to lend full support to whomever wants or requires it. You know… I have to do the right thing even if it kills me. That's the way I was brought up.

Hell… just today (Wednesday), it was pointed out to me that I fugged up big time with a co-worker, and despite apologizing profusely and him understanding that I was apologizing, he wasn't in the mood to accept my apology at that moment—and that's cool, because he doesn't have to. I wish he would because I respect him so much despite him being 20 years my junior, but my respect for him transcends his ability as a fellow writer—for his advice regarding my son. Thank you Dan Illka. Sorry Dan Illka.

And yes… I know the odds are very low that he will ever see this. But I place this here hoping he might one day Google himself.

Anyhow, I must admit that when Noboko accused me of such a devious thing, I was incredulous and angry… angry because (#1) I hadn't done anything wrong, and (#2) I thought I had a better reputation than that.

Noboko believing such a thing about me—and granted we were still young in our relationship and there was a cultural banner (not a language banner)… well, that upset me more than anything ever had… and believe me… since becoming physically involved with women for the first time while in Japan, I had developed a penchant for getting upset with the (unfair to Andrew) fair sex.

I think I was just really upset that people could so readily believe that I was some sort of sex pirate… coming aboard to steal some booty and them after blowing a hole in the hull with my canon, head off looking for more defenseless frigates to plunder.

And yet… could it be true?

No… not that I was a pirate of love, but rather that people actually thought that about me?

I'll be honest… I didn't write my thoughts down about this at the time… but in 21 years of retrospect… OMG… I can see that people did think I was some sort of Playah. And not just Player 1 in a video game.

While my first year in Japan was pretty much a feeling-out process… newly de-frocked virgin running with his girlfriend through the ups and downs of his first real relationship.

Year two was spent mostly in debauchery, as my girlfriend didn't want the relationship but would take the sex—which is kind of good kind of bad.

It's like, yes… you are very good at sex… and I also trust you… I just don't want to have anything to do with you because there are so many things that bother me.

That's why I spent a lot of time saying screw it all with relationships and said screw'em all, instead.

It was during Year 2 when I had finally begun moving from sleeping with the female AETs (assistant English teachers) to sleeping with Japanese women on occasion, with only (I think) my lack of Japanese language skills limiting whom I could sleep with.

I know, I know… that's a problem many wish they had, because it means I was still sleeping with someone.

By Year 3, my last year on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme, either my Japanese language skills had exploded or my superb (ha!) English teaching skills had caused more and more Japanese women to come up and chat with me—the facts are hazy thanks to an alcohol mist.

But here's the thing… while Noboko's comment about me sleeping with a Japanese woman and getting her pregnant were indeed in Year 3, in between years 2 and 3 I had my first indicator that others saw me differently from how I saw myself.

The new JETs had arrived in Tokyo for their orientation, and for some reason two of the male newcomers sought me out to ask about the woman situation in Japan. I'm hoping it wasn't that I was exuding a sexually perverse musk odor but rather because they asked someone else who knows a lot about dating in Japan or who isn't afraid to say what's on their mind (a fatal flaw as well as an endearing quality).

These were tall, handsome guys… and I have to admit I am neither. They made me uncomfortable with their mannerisms and way of talking… which was why I knew these guys were in Japan ONLY to get laid, whereas for me that was always a nice by-product to the whole experience of being in an exotic (to me) country.

That's why I felt I was different from them.

Still… while I was now interested in chatting up some of the new female AETs who arrived (so I am similar to those two guys), I couldn't ditch them, as it appeared as though they were hanging onto my every word.

And… to a writer/egomaniac, that is the best feeling in the world. Second… no… third… maybe eighth? It's up there…

The three of us sat around after the official Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture) government Education ministry welcome party… they asking questions about women and my conquests, and me stupidly telling them.

It was almost comical… you could see them leaning forward on the huge leather couch, licking their lips, saliva dripping down from their mouth, visions of naked Japanese babes trapped underneath them…

It was a 45-minute long talk after the party when the hotel staff shooed us out, and I drifted away to scope out some women, and I'm sure my protege's drifted away to do the same.

What made it all the more galling was earlier, when one of them offered up his glass in a toast—"To Tochigi's players!"—or something equally offensive to my ears then and now… I had no choice but to clink glasses with them… so I did… they thought I was a player… a womanizer. Was I?

I don't think so. It's my belief that a player or womanizer will use women for his own benefit, while me… I was just trying to get sex, and hope it was a mutually beneficial experience for her and I.

See? I wanted to share. It wasn't just about me and how I could get something more for me at their expense. I think that's what separated me from the animals.

And yet… despite me being able to see that… was the line becoming so blurry that others couldn't see that?

Andrew Joseph
PS: Oh... and 30 minutes later... Dan and I are good. He's a better man than I am, that's for sure. Damn... I guess I do have flaws. Stay away.
PPS: Image above is taken from this website:  I think that red thing is a nipple.

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