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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Just How Much Would Godzilla Pee Every Day?

I was recently given an article that determines just how much Godzilla - the new version - would actually pee in a single day.

I found that ironic, because ever since I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes a couple of months ago, I've had to drink a lot of this mystery drink called 'wah-durr'... a clear liquid with a taste wholly unlike Coke Zero (my previous drink of choice)... being forced to have some eight cups a day (though I do nine) of wahdur makes me urinate like a hyper-hydrated race horse.

It's even more ironic that I have Type II diabetes considering I can't even type, making some 65 mistakes a minute. The first draft of this article made me feel cold.

Anyhow... I, too once made a calculation (long since lost - don't worry) that determined just how much I peed and pooped in my life time. But, judging from my high school Math marks, that number was probably doomed from the start... I think it was something like 1-million hands, or 29,000 parsecs or some other crazy measurement like a eleventy-billion buckets of touchdowns.

Actually... I really did calculate those numbers. It's sad when a creative mind gets bored watching Star Trek reruns.

Anyhow, some other wisenheimer with too much time on his hands has determined not just how much he himself would pee, but just how much a fictional movie monster might urinate.

I'm just saying my math work has to be considered at a higher level of social acceptance, even if his is more impressive because of the fact that he had to come up with a number based on size calculations.

I only had to pee into a measuring cup. You do not want to know how I calculated how much I poop.

Needles to say, my calculations were done decades ago in the 1980s before I smartened up, moved out of my parents basement (where I watched old Star Trek episodes) and got a job teaching English in Japan by having my students 'repeat after me'.

That way of teaching English MUST work, otherwise why would I do that for three years? Regardless of the 'work', I think I just enjoyed the sex with all the women I came across. Yes, I know what I typed. It only it took me six attempts to spell everything correctly. 

Anyhow... without further ado, here is a golden moment in the annals of this blog, that will have you all showering the researcher with accolades.

Click GOLDEN to find out.

All I can say is: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in to the water..."  

Yes... Japanese water is very delicious...

Andrew Joseph
Pee Ass: The cup of urine at the top of the page? It's 30 stories tall... and I know tall stories, which I call tales.

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