Regular readers will know that I am no prude and maintain everyone's right to be who they are provided no one gets hurt—unless it's consensual.
In this case, I am talking about sex.
I've been around the block a few times and have even driven on the highway at breakneck speeds and even jumped over a line of parked cars and successfully landed mostly unscathed, except spiritually, but who cares about that?
There's not much about sex that freaks me out, except for the folks who collect and enjoy sniffing women's panties. It doesn't gross me out or anything like that… I just don't understand the allure of purchasing soiled women's panties.
Hey… if it's someone you know, and they were given freely (as opposed to you stealing them from someone's laundry or worse), whatever.
Nothing wrong with sharing between friends. Live, breathe and be happy and horny. Probably be a lot fewer wars going on if we all abided by that adage.
And so… I come across (in the literal sense) the fetish of purchasing used women's panties or underwear, if you will…. beats me why some women hate the word 'panties'…
See the somewhat blurry image above? It's obviously taken via someone's phone camera, or if it's a real camera the owner should consider getting his eyes checked. Anyhow, I saw this photograph on Twitter, and admittedly, I have lost the actual site I saw it on. My apologies. I'll provide credit if anyone knows which unfocused person this belongs to (hey, when my pix suck, I admit it).
Then again… it fits in perfectly with my complaint.
Number 1, why purchase soiled panties from a woman you don't know?
Where is the allure in sniffing underwear when you don't have a clue as to what the person is like as a human being?
You know that the photo of the model on the front of the packaging bears no resemblance to the woman rubbing herself on these panties, right?
You know that the woman performing said task for squat, I mean for a small salary could be… well… not your type?
That smell some enjoy sniffing… are you sure that the manufacturer is using a human being? Might it not be from some melon collie or other type of fruit-eating creature?
Number 2, what the heck is your type oh panty-sniffer?
The fact that there are so many varieties of soiled panties available in this one kiosk in Tokyo implies that maybe there are also other kiosks selling similar product…
… but really, it means that either there are:
- a lot of women with some form of vaginal excretion willing to perform this job;
- only one woman who leaks a lot and should see a medical professional;
- a guy rubbing some sort of chemical that smells like you-know-what all over these panties;
A collector would have one of everything, or in this case, one of everyone. Would a collector proudly display his collection in his room?
Does a collector ever show off his collection to his buds after a night of drinking?
"And this small pair of green panties was worn by Tomiko… you can smell a hint of mint and piss… and if you get real close to it and give it a good sniff, you can tell she has Chlamydia."
Someone who uses the panties might open up the package of soiled panties and grab that breath of mostly fresh
"Yes, Tomiko, I can smell your sex in the air. Now I must masturbate furiously."
Perhaps a panty-sniffing sexaholic might need a large collection, as the thrill of sniffing many different panties is what gets him or her (let's be fair, here) off.
"Yes… Tomiko and Yukiko and Mayuko… this is the best orgy I've ever been involved in! Now I must masturbate furiously."
Does the panty collector purchase panties according to:
- Blood type - AB, A, O, B or M (menstruating);
- Hoo-ha… the scent of the woman - assuming the seller allows the buyer to sample the merchandise;
- The photo on the front of the package (she's looking at me!);
- Size (small, smaller or smallest?) - I'm talking about the size of the undergarment and not your kawasakiyamaha;
- Panty color (white or white with a pattern) (That's not funny, Andrew) (I know. I've got nothing for this one);
- Cut of its gib - what style of panties;
- Panty fabric (cotton, silk or… rayon… I have no idea.. I've never really stopped to look at the label when tearing them off… and when I do laundry, I just assume that if it's been placed in the laundry basket it's laundry safe);
- Local or foreign (Can you purchase undies from down under in Australia, or can you buy gaijin panties in Tokyo or wherever you are - I know, it's a secrete… I mean secret) or "Today, I want a Japanese woman with black hair and brown eyes." (That's not funny, either);
- Age… I'm not talking about the age of the panties as though it were some sort of cheese or bottle of wine… though maybe that is an option… I was talking about the alleged age of the panty supplier ("Ahhh, nirvana… smells like teen spirit.") (This joke is void where prohibited by law.)
I could go on, but I am out of breath with excitement…
But really… I just wanted to show you an interesting photo depicting the 'interesting' night life of Tokyo... like in this conversation that may or may not have actually happened in hundreds of households across Japan on a nightly basis.
"Where are you going, honey?"
"I'm going to get some milk."
"But it's 2:30 in the morning!"
"It is? Then I better hurry before the sun comes up in an hour."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"Let me just get dressed… hmmm... have you seen my panties?"
"Sounds like you are getting a cold. Let me go out and get the milk for you."
"Did this month's Tomiko-chan come in?"
"Sure did, Mrs. P. Enjoy!"
Different strokes for different folks.
Everyone breathe deeply now and relax...