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Friday, August 8, 2014

The Happiness Counter

I should probably have one of these things - a Happiness Counter.

Those of you who know me, probably think I am one of those happy-go-lucky guys who goes through life with a perpetual smile on his face because he knows some secret joke or is always happy to see you.

Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. (Did you know you can hear someone smile on the telephone? That hasn't happened in a while, but it's true.)

No one can be happy all the time. But even when I'm down, I think to myself that there are people worse off than me, 'so get over your petty black thoughts'.

I'm not clinically depressed. Not even close. But I know sooooo many people who are, and have the medication to prove it.

The Happiness Counter is not for them.

It might be for me.

I am one of those people - and you might be, too - who eats when he is down.

I get down when surrounded by unhappy people, or when something that should go my way - doesn't. I don't fixate on it or let it ruin my life (I think), but subconsciously, I feed that dark hole inside me with food.

I suppose it's one reason I went from 185-lbs to 235-lbs in about a year.

That is where the Happiness Counter comes in.

My bud, Matthew, pointed this out to me.

The Happiness Counter was designed for people who live alone and thus have difficulty in realizing when they are down - and thus don't smile as much as they could or should.

The Happiness Counter - brought to you by some happy folks at the University of Tokyo is a smile-encouraging appliance for the home to increase one's positive mood.

Using face recognition software and a Sony camera, it sees if you are smiling or not. It mimics your disposition with an electronic smiley face :) or frowny face :(

Facial Recognition - User Feedback - Network Communication. That's how it works.

You can attach the Happiness Counter to your mirror, or better yet, to your fridge... and if it sees that you aren't happy, it won't unlock the refrigerator.
Poor Alice! She's wondering why her Cheshire Cat is frowning at her. Don't worry, we're all mad here.
Don't worry - be happy, a light will go on as you can now open up that damn fridge and stuff your smiling sorry face.
I think the fridge is smiling as it sneaks a peek at her boobs. I know I'd smile more if I saw her boobs.
I have no idea if the Happiness Counter can detect a fake smile allowing someone down in the dumps to fill that hole in their soul with a Gaudet Caramel Apple Pie - but it's a damnable pile of electronics... you can fake it.

The University of Tokyo installed a Happiness Counter in the home of a single householder - and says that the system had a positive effect on improving the person's mental status.

"You vill smile or starve," he says in his best Gestapo accent, which is actually pretty damn good, and he (that's me) apologizes for not allowing you to hear it in person.

Now, your old pal Andrew does know of a pretty, little woman who says that she eats when she is happy, so I'm assuming she must have one of these Happiness Counters.

I have my doubts about the Happiness Counter, as I feel it could pull one of those HAL-scenarios on me like what happened in 2001: Space Odyssey.

"What's the matter, Dave? Hungry?"

"Stop smiling at me, you damn Happiness Counter!"

Somewhere angrily taking the door off my fridge,
Andrew "You gonna eat that?" Joseph

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