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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Gourmet Salami Doritos

Okay… I'm stealing this "blog concept" from http://www.gaybottimes.com. It's a real fun blog that looks at Japan from a more direct angle than I do—I'm all over the damn place—probably because I want to know everything about everything. Go check it out! Uh... after reading this blog, of course. I've added them to my list of blogs that I follow.

Anyhow, I was looking around for a topic and lo and behold, I came across (not literally) this bag of Doritos corn chips: Gourmet Salami Corn Chips.

Now, Doritos in Japan is no stranger to putting out some odd packaging and some interesting flavors—see HERE for my in-depth research on that featuring an adult line of Doritos in Japan—so perhaps it's no surprise that it should continue to push the envelope, if you will, of what constitutes acceptable flavoring.

Hell, I recently tried a Cinnamon Bun Lays potato chips (and it's other three flavors: Bacon Poutine, Jalapeno Mac N' Cheese and Tzatziki) - and they were all decent enough - Bacon drools! - so what's the big deal?

I recall decades ago sampling Roast Chicken flavor potato chips from Hostess, Pizza, Baked Potato with sour cream and chives—I've had a Juicy Fruit Strawberry Shortcake chewing gum and other dessert flavors… so why not have a corn chip flavored with salami?

Well, actually, Doritos would have us believe that it actually used a gourmet salami, but the word gourmet is tossed around lightly by many a brand and or advertiser.

Technically speaking, since my bud Matthew Hall and I once were paid to teach a class of Japanese women how to cook Ice Cream Cake (Matthew's) and Chili con Carne (mine), we are professional chefs… but I would only make that claim to further my own ego or to piss off my wife. So I do mention it often enough, babycakes.

That implies people and brands often say things - but it doesn't make it 100% correct.   

Anyhow, the Salami chips are no longer being manufactured (it was available back in 2012 in Japan) by Doritos, but news travels slowly sometimes.

From what I understand, Frito Japan, who produce Doritos, release about 10 different flavor concoctions a year… so since I know that, I'll pay more attention and keep you up to date with more regularity than a bag of Doritos Salami chips can offer.

From what I understand, Doritos said that the Gourmet Salami chips were best enjoyed with beer—which explains why there is a fake-looking mug of beer on the—actually very nice-looking—flexible packaging.

Huh. So there's nothing like encouraging alcoholic imbibing, which is really something the Japanese don't need.

But what the heck… if you are going to drink, then there's nothing wrong with tossing back some Salami chips or a chub of real salami to help soak up the booze.

I only assume this is for consumption at home, because what the hell sort of bar are you going into that serves you Doritos chips with your booze?

And really? If you are Japanese and are drinking beer at home, I'm thinking you might want to either slow down, sport. Aren't you boozing enough with your buddies after work? If not, what's wrong with you? If you are, maybe you want to give that liver a break.

I'd still eat those Gourmet Salami chips, though. But just how bad would my breath end of being? Yeesh.  

Cheers,
Andrew "Better Late Than Never" Joseph

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