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Sunday, December 28, 2014

Noboko & Andrew - Worst Threesome Ever

At this point in time in my life, I really want to marry Noboko... I mean I did from the moment I first laid eyes on her at school here she taught English, but now... even more so.

I almost look at it like it's a competition. Matthew is going to marry Takako, a sassy, intelligent and beautiful woman whose dad is a local politician here in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken... and Jeff, he's married a woman down in Sano-shi, Tochigi-ken... my two best male buds in Japan - and both of them set for life.

Me... I'm the one who had the girlfriend almost from day one... I've slept with more women than I had any right of sleeping me... and yet, until Noboko, I couldn't find that one... that one person I would gladly stop hounding women for... someone I wanted to hound for the rest of my life.

I was first with the girlfriend, and last with the Japanese girlfriend... and I don't want to be the last of the Three Musketeers who couldn't find a Japanese wife... but at least that won't happen.

What I should have done, was to ask either of those two - Jeff and or Matthew - just how difficult or easy it was to have their woman's father find out about the two of them.

But I'm a man. Despite an inability to use power tools, I do have a love of sports and women... but there is no way in hell I would ever ask another guy for advice about women... not even Japanese women.

The main thing is that no man wants to appear to be weak even if he is.

The other is that Matthew... well... his wife-to-be is hardly what I would call weak. Takako was and is very strong-willed, and even if her father wasn't such a brilliant nice guy - he is - Takako, I think, wouldn't give a crap and would have married Matthew regardless. That photo above... that's a very brave Takako from earlier this month holding an extremely large Hello Kitty doll. I don't know who or what impresses me more.

Jeff... Jeff surprised me. Here's a guy who hates Japanese food - loathes it! - and he's marrying a Japanese woman and is prepared to live his life in Japan. The thing is, his wife is very strong-willed also... with a no bull-crap attitude.

Noboko... my Noboko gives off this impression that she is tough as nails... and she is... able to ably fend off all the unwanted advances from all the men around her - trust me... every single Japanese guy that saw her wanted her... and she was having none of that.

But... as strong as she was, her weakness was her father... a loyalty and obedience to her father that I found shocking, impressive and completely disheartening.

In the past, I have been out with a woman who was very religious - and more power to you if YOU are... but as a man who has read The Bible, The Koran, The Torah... the teachings of Buddha... just because... I'm not an overly religious man. As such... with that very religious woman as my girlfriend, I knew I would always be second best.... and I can tell you that now, as back then, no man enjoys being second-best to any other man.

And here we are.

I love Noboko. Noboko loves me. Noboko loves her father. Hell, I love my father, but when it comes to love, I don't need anyone's opinion or anyone physically getting in my way.

I would give up my family for that perfect woman, and... and... and I suppose it was naive of myself to believe that a woman would be willing to do that for me.

It's weeks after I essentially proposed marriage to Noboko... and while that thought of spending the rest of my life with her scared me not at all, I am unsure if Noboko understood that... my contract with the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme is up in a couple of months, and I'm going home to Toronto... but I'd rather not.

I mean, I'll go home, but if I have someone to come back to, I will come back... but I'm only coming back for a woman who will be my wife... and if I have to spend the rest of my life in Japan doing some sort of stupid job like teaching English to kids or to adults, then I would do it knowing that no matter how much I hated my job it would be worth it to be with the one I love.

I would have given up everything... everything to achieve everything.

So... I tell Noboko that I love her and want to marry her.

"I know," she says.

I usually run through every possible scenario of rebuttal or conversation a person could have - when it's important - I spend hours, if not days doing that... and yet I didn't expect such a casual, off the wall remark as "I know."

It screwed me up completely, because in every scenario, this opening gambit of mine involved her saying she loves me and wants to marry me, too.

Internally flustered, but not showing it on the outside - I rarely do - I tell Noboko that I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and if that means living it here in Japan, then that's what I would do.

"But," I suggest, "since your English-language skills are through the proverbial roof, you could also come and live with me in Canada."

"I know," she says.

Didn't see that coming, and as such, I have to continue winging it like other people do.

"Look," I blubber out, "if you will come with me to Canada for a vacation when my contract is up - and you tell your parents what is going on between you and I - then when the vacation is over, I will come back with you to Japan and we'll get married and I'll get a job... and we'll have kids and live happily ever after."

She doesn't say anything for a while... just kind of stares off into space.

"I can't," she says finally. "My father..."

"Your father?!" I explode. "Who cares about your father?!"

"I do!"

"Don't you love me? Huh? Well, do you?"

She's crying now. "Of course I love you, but you don't understand... and that's why I can't marry you..."

She gets up after sticking that katana sword through my heart, quickly slips on her shoes and races out my front door.

I think I shout her name... but I may have whispered it with my dying breath.

She loves me, but I don't understand... and that's why she can't marry me... no... that's what she said... I got it.

I have no idea what the hell this means... but I know I am extremely frustrated... so I pour myself a Coke and drink it.

I haven't had a drink since I was with Noboko, and I don't see the need to have one now...

Of course I know what she means. She is afraid to tell her parents she is in love with me, and as such there is no way in hell we can ever be a married couple here in Japan or anywhere else in the world.

I thought I had a lot of baggage when I came over to Japan - both physically and emotionally - but apparently I ain't got nothing on Noboko.

Andrew Joseph

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