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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Pillow Talk For Otaku

Over at the always entertaining Rocket News 24, there's a story there about a pillow—manga-related—that talks and moans depending on how you touch it.

It even gets angry if you grab her too roughly.

Known as the Ita-Supo and developed by Uchimura Koichi (surname first) who was a researcher over at Kyushu Institute of Technology, it quite naturally (for all the pervs out there) features some sexy female manga-like character.

It is supposed to be a pillow that supports "people's otaku life". Otaku (おたく/オタク) is a Japanese term for people with obsessive interests, commonly the anime and manga fandom.

You can read the full story HERE.

Despite having an Otaku life, and being a bit of a per myself, all I can say is to quote the iconic William Shatner on a Saturday Night Live sketch regarding the obsessive nature of Star Trek fans: "People… get a life."

Surely not every manga or anime nerd is a social outcast! Not in this, the 21st century when anime and manga and comic books and animated flicks and even live-action movies featured such characters are the Hollywood force, driving excessively popular franchises such as Batman, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers and more!

Nerds and geeks need not consider themselves losers!

Purchasing such a pillow, the Ita-Supo, is just plain sad and you are all setting back the geek-shall-inheirit-the-Earth plan for world domination back decades.

As a kid, I was criticized for purchasing comic books and watching animated cartoons as a teenager, and young adult.

And while I was indeed a virgin longer than I had ever wanted to be, I had always liked REAL women. Real women.

On the off-chance that you should get a date and bring her home, what the hell would she think when she sees your otaku porn-moaning pillow? That's right… loser.

Seriously, I've been lonely… have not had a woman glance in my general direction even if I was on fire (I think that's happened a few times), but dammit… buying this pillow and otaku pillows and products like this - this is not the way to get past the loneliness.

The way to get past such loneliness is to change the way you are or the way you are perceived.

That means getting out into the real world and exposing yourself (not that way) for all the world to see your good points and foibles.

Stroking a pillow to make it moan in pleasure might seem like fun, and it probably is for the first 47 minutes, but after that, then what?

You can have sex with your pillow, and then you have to clean it before it gets all crusty and disgusting.

If you have the money for that, save up a few more bucks and get yourself an escort, if you must. Get some real human to human contact!

Look… this is different from the whole Living Doll or blow-up doll sex toys, at least in my mind, though I wouldn't bother with them personally… this is a two-dimensional image with a recording that feeds a tiny ego.

You are better than that. Allow your ego to be better than a pillow-hugging buggerer (from flipping the pillow over, I assume).

You are a nerd and don't know how you'll ever get a real woman, then change the way you look, act or are perceived.

Go to a gym, read some books (real books) on how to be something better than an otaku.

The whole anime and manga thing should just be an enjoyable HOBBY, not a frisking lifestyle. A hobby.

I like cartoons and manga, and admit fully to being influenced by the black fishnet stockings worn by DC comic book heroes Black Canary and Zatana—I'd rather see a woman dressed in black medium-hole fishnets than completely naked just because it's sexy.

I also am quite aware that if a woman—a real woman—dresses up in black fishnets for me, the odds are pretty damn good I'm going to see her naked anyway.

I was shy, wore glasses and was a Dungeons and Dragons-playing nerd who loved Star Trek and lived in my parent's basement with my then 20,000 piece comic book collection (I have nearly double that now).

Maybe I'm luckier than you… I liked sports, and was also decent enough at them to not look completely out of place… but I also made up my mind to screw my shyness, to go to a gym, get contact lenses, grow my hair… read everything I could get my hands on about topics OTHER than manga and anime, while still maintaining my love of both…

Regular readers of this blog know I got more than my fair share of virginity-breaking escapades while in Japan, and (after hitting the gym when I got home) continued long after that.

Above all else, one needs to be able to talk… just not only about okaku-related things.

You might not believe it, but a good, working knowledge of Shakespeare, Alice In Wonderland and Marillion (Brit neo-progressive rock band) allowed me to meet and even kiss one of the sexiest creatures on the planet. And yeah, Marillion is relatively obscure, but we were both at the same concert 20 years before we met. 

And yet, I still maintain a knowledge of hockey and baseball history and stats, and know more about comic book history and exactly who is stronger—Superman versus The Hulk.

So you never know.

Guys, and I'll assume it's 99.9% guys, pillow talk aside, don't bother with crap like the Ita-Supo.

You're better than that.

Besides, who wants to be scolded by a pillow?

Kanpai,
Andrew Joseph

2 comments:

  1. Guess what I'm getting you for x-man.

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    Replies
    1. It better look and feel and smell like Lucy Lui. Or... ah... never mind! LOL! I'm like Fry in Futurama...

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