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Monday, November 9, 2015

Oh Crap, Japan - And Russia!

You might wonder if Japan is an Eden, which is why I write about it so much.... but no... I write about it so much because Japan is strangely weird, often enough, that it grabs your attention to make me go - WTF?

There is a place in Japan... Tokyo, actually, where visitors can go and see how toilets work.

I loved Japanese food while I lived in Japan, but often, it would not sit well in my stomach. I'd have to go six or seven times a day, and not No. 1. In fact, I used to joke that if I only went four times a day, I was constipated.

I have since learned that when I stopped drinking regular coke, that problem disappeared to a very regular once a day... you know, like a normal person.

I was lucky that I had a western-style toilet in my apartment in Japan, so sitting was easy. That's not a mis-spelling.

In fact, my first week in Japan... I thought I was going to die on my toilet when an earthquake hit... at least I wouldn't have crapped my pants, seeing as how they were already down.

But can you imagine if I did die that way... the indignity... not to mention there'd be no blog like this for you all to ponder at.

Anyhow, enough about me and by vowels (have you ever been so consonated that you couldn't move your vowels? - You sit on the toilet and scream out - Aaaaaa, Eeeee, Iiiiiii, Ooooooo, Uuuuu - sorry, old joke) ... that place in Japan...it's the “Toilet!? Human Waste & Earth’s Future” interactive exhibit in Tokyo, you can learn everything possible about how toilets work. See image above.

As an added bonus, you can get hats that look like turds - just like what all the kiddies are wearing. Can I get one with nuts in it?

At the end, as you are leaving, there is an exhibit of toilets singing, because, what the heck, it's Japan and what more could any visitor to a toilet exhibit want?


"So mom, what did you do today?"
"Oh, I helped record a song about poop and toilets." 

Now... I was going to think this was just Japan being wacky, but they have created an exhibition and made learning fun.

The same day that Vinnie sent me a link to this story in Japan, I came across news that there is a cafe/restaurant in Russia called the Crazy Toilet Cafe in Moscow, where everything is toilet-themed.

Wow, Moscow... classy. All that's missing is some images of Mister Hanky, the Christmas Poo... and some customers who enjoy poor taste.
My old joke when I lived in Japan was that with some foods, I should just skip the middle man, and simply toss my food in the toilet. Here at the Crazy Toilet Cafe, they have listened to me. Do they have any borscht? Mmm, red poop.
I'm pretty sure that there's no permission given by the Walt Disney corporation to legally use the images of Chip & Dale here, especially in the circumstances they are projecting at the Crazy Toilet Cafe. Seriously... is Chip fishing for log trout?
I guess the important thing here is to ask how the food was... because you sure aren't going for the romantic ambiance. Bojemoi.

Lips that touch toilet shall never touch... dammit, I can't come up with a rhyme.

Don't forget to wipe your mouth after eating, 
Andrew Joseph

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