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Saturday, July 30, 2016

Sleeping Hood Stops People From Watching You Sleep - Not

If you don’t wish to use it to hide any embarrassment from sleeping on a train, it also comes in handy for human falconry…. or perhaps something light and handy for some light S&M bondage on the bus.

Mitsubishi Paper Mills has created the My Dome Pal Travel Sleeping Hood is designed to help Japanese people sleep on trains or long-distance buses… I assume they mean long-distance train rides on a shinkansen.

I have no idea when Japanese people became self-conscious about sleeping on trains… I’ve seen them walk onto a train, push an old lady out of the way, sit down between two plus-size people, drop their head and fall asleep within seconds.

I’ve fallen asleep on a train in Toronto… after imbibing too much wine when I was 19 years old during an office get-together for a summer job I had… I woke up with spittle dragged across my shirt in a weird paisley pattern… I can only hope it was my own spittle. It’s Toronto… you never know.

In Japan, Japanese people will power nap anywhere and anywhen they can…. trains, cafe’s and work.

I’ve also fallen asleep at work and awoken with my face plastered with wet gooey spittle attached from my head and the computer keyboard and with 47 pages of zzzzzzzzzzzzzz mysteriously imprinted on my computer screen.

In Japan, guys get so plastered drunk that they remove articles of clothing and pass out on the train floor… then again… that’s passing out, and not really falling asleep… which is what his blog is about.

Falling asleep in public is no big thing… in fact, it seems to imply that you have fallen asleep because you have been working too hard… so even taking a break at work with your head down… no one will say anything negative about that.

So… since no one cares…pretty much everyone does it… why do we need the My Dome Pal Travel Sleeping Hood?
Scrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Mitsubishi says it is designed to help people sleep on long-distance train and bus-rides… for people who are also embarrassed because people are looking at you.

Really? Japanese people are embarrassed by people looking at you? (Hora! Gaijin-da!!) You’re asleep! Why do you care if people are looking at you?

More than likely they are looking at all the people who are still awake (like themselves) and wondering how so many people could be such lazy shiftless worker bees at their respective jobs.

No… no one cares…

And… if you are paranoid enough to be embarrassed about sleeping in public—and that is paranoia—would you not be self-conscious about wearing a hood on your head that makes you look like you are being kidnapped, and forced to act like a falcon for horrible people in the hope you get some scraps of cubed raw meat to snack on?

Yes… now you can be the Navy Blue Falcon!


So… let’s get to the nitty-gritty.  

The nap time head cover bag costs US$78, not including shipping, and is available at the www.japantrendshop.com (click on it to go to product’s page).

The hood fabric is, according to Japan Trend Shop, designed to maintain a warm temperature on your head to prevent one’s body from feeling chilly in an air-conditioned plane or train.

Plane?

I’m pretty sure that if I (or you), pulled out the hood and placed it over our respective head, an air marshall would shoot us. Plus, with our head covered, we would probably miss out on those little bags of salted roasted peanuts that we can get all over our hands and, when we go to the bathroom to try and join the Mile High Club, we can smear our peanut oil-covered hands everywhere, assuring that that guy seated in 7G will die horribly from his sever peanut allergy when he later has to take a poop.

On the plus side, we joined the club! We also didn’t get handcuffed by air marshals and waterboarded as the pilot takes us to Cuba in a panic, as the Mitsubishi hood reminds him of that time he was a Black Man in the KKK.

Okay… I’m being silly… but then again… so is this product. 

The blurb for this product on Japan Trend Shop says that the hood will also “keep out pollen and dust, since when traveling we are always susceptible to germs.

Uh… we are always susceptible (they spelled it incorrectly, but I fixed their spelling in this blog) to germs.

Also… where the heck are you traveling that you are worried about pollen and dust hitting you on the train, plane or catbus? Seriously… so now you aren’t tired, but are concerned about allergens or germs? Now you are going to place the hood on you? Why not simply get one of those hazmat suits and walk around with that?
I love that the Hood comes with enough room to cover my leather zipper mask and that red ball I have to have strapped to my mouth. 
Japan Trend Shop says that “Attention has also been taken with how the sleeping hood looks.”

Maybe… but maybe not how it looks to others who see you wearing a snow boot insole on your head.

Oh… they mean colors… which again, has nothing to do with you… you are supposed to be inside it… sleeping and dreaming of flying… the only people who can see what color the hood is, are the people you were paranoid enough to worry about them looking at you while you slept hoodless.

The color is for the people watching you, oh paranoid one. And yes... sometimes the paranoid is correct. People do watch you.

Colors available are: a green Japanese paper design; houndstooth check; purple Edo Komon; and pink cherry blossom (sakura).






Made in Japan (of course it is, dear) from natural wood pulp, rayon and polyester… so it’s almost a green product… it is machine washable… you know… in case you are a drooler or Buddha help you, get pollen up your nose causing you to sneeze while in the hood.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Somewhere twirling my meat… no… that sounds a lot dirtier than the falconry joke I was actually going for,
Andrew Joseph
PS: I usually traveled on long-distance train rides with a sexy, female partner… so even if we weren’t sleeping together, we didn’t mind sleeping on each other for the long-haul ride. This type of sleepy trips was only sleep-inducing on the way back home… Ash and Trish and Noboko were three such partners, but I’m pretty sure there were a few others.
I rarely traveled alone while in Japan owing to my propensity for getting lost: “Hello Cleveland!”
Now… if the hood only came with some sort of a muffling device that stopped my snoring… and yes, Matthew… . I am aware that if you took a belt and tied it tightly around the base of the hood, you would have had an effective muffler for my snoring. Sorry. By the way… none of the women EVER complained about my snoring… at least none of the women I was sleeping with.

3 comments:

  1. A solution for butter face (sakura, please) -- or -- voluntary execution, "Would you prefer beheading, firing squad, or hanging?" If someone slipped one of those things over their head while I was sitting next t them on a plane, I would have to pray I wouldn't get the giggle fits 'cause that would be a long flight. I mean -- just cover yourself with a blanket if you're that self-conscious! Drool into a little pillow like the rest of us travelers ...

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    1. I think the guy in the top photo should at least consider loosening his tie and top shirt button. On the plus side of the hood, at least he isn't watching porn on his smart phone.

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    2. Dunno ... he may be watching porn on his VR smartphone headset -- seems like a perfect cover. We'll never know since we can't see his hands. ;-)

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