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Monday, June 12, 2017

Waiter, There's A Man In My Soup

My buddy and reader Vincent sent me a link to the Gift Shop of The British Museum and what Japanese-inspired items they have to bilk, sell to the visitor now desperate to own something made in China, Japan. 

This is one of my favorite items available at gift shop of The British Museum: 

The Hokusai Manga Bowl set.
  1. Hokusai, the famous Japanese ukiyo-e artist;
  2. Manga - Japanese comic books;
  3. bowl set for food placement - I love food. I know not all of you love food. (Sarcasm, of course.)
One of my least favorite things to hear is: “In my country we have a real love of food.” 

WTF… go back to your country, then if it’s so great.

People in countries all over the bloody world love their food, and even appreciate it.

I know some countries have a lot of people starving, but I’m pretty sure that if they had food, they would love it.

I love food.. maybe I should go to your country… I’ve never been there, but I feel I must if I can be taken seriously for my love of food.

Okay… enough of that… check out the artwork chosen for this bowl set:

There’s a fat guy studying some scroll. Nice… an academic.
Two fat guys washing their kimono (not a yukata (male summer kimono) ... see below for why), with one of them showing off his gluteus maximus and whatever a male camel-toe is.   

Fat guy washing himself in a tub. Dead sexy. I hope he was using bubblebath... 

This bowl shows three hefty women… are are they the fat guys in drag? I don’t have anything against that lifestyle… I just want to know just what I am putting my food on… I'm saying guys in drag because they are walking like they don't know how to walk in the clothing.

Here we have the classic Hokusai depiction of a fat man smoking a pipe and scratching his large a$$ (I'm pretty sure no one has ever uttered that sentence before in the history of the world) … or he is trying to find a fold in the skin to insert that rectal thermometer he is holding in his mouth, or that thermometer in his mouth was originally somewhere rectal… what the heck actually happened while he was dressed up as a woman?!

Oh man… do I really want to place my diced daikon radish upon the bowl showing (at worst) a topless man scratching his butt? Doesn’t that kill the ambiance? My daikon tastes funny.

Wait… £45.00 for the five-bowl set?! That’s US $58.27!?!? 

It features a guy scratching his a$$! I don’t care if it’s a Hokusai or a Rembrandt! It’s a guy scratching his a$$!!! 

Andrew Joseph

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