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Friday, March 16, 2018

The Gene-ie’s Out Of The Bottle


So… my brother recently did that whole Ancestry DNA thingamabob.

According to lore, on my mother’s side we’re of Portuguese descent, and on my father’s Indian-British and Palestinian (Israel now).

According to my brother’s spit, we are indeed 3/4’s South Asian (India), with the next largest chunk (15%) having roots in East Asia…. which includes China, Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, The Philippines (and more) … oh, and of course Japan.

Smaller amounts (in descending order) of genetic markers have us from: Melanasia (Vanuatu, the Solomon Islands, Fiji, and Papua New Guinea, as well as the French special collective of New Caledonia, and the Indonesian region of Western New Guinea); Central Asia (kindda includes Israel/Palestine), and Polynesia (uh… the thousands of islands scattered around the central and southern Pacific Ocean, including New Zealand, American Samoa, Cook and Easter Island, Hawaii, French Polynesia, Tonga, Samoa, Pitcairn Islands, Niue, Norfolk Island, Tokelau, Tuvalu, Wallis and Futuna, and Rotuma, Gilligan’s Island and others).

This could explain why I like deli meats, pineapple, coconut cream pies … but not why I don’t care for taro and only very recently began to tolerate curry.

But how about that… I could have Japanese in me… probably Ainu, which is actually waaaaay cool in my opinion but not if I want to be Japanese.

Of course, if you want specifics about which country you are from… because the Ancestry.com television ads imply that while some thought they were Scottish, they are actually German… well, you probably need to purchase the deluxe package of $150 for a year’s subscription.

I’m curious, but not $150-curious. Where the heck are the British and Portuguese? Perhaps those particular genetic markers did not get picked up by my brother, but were picked up by me (so we’ll never know).

I do like maintaining the mystery of possibly having a bit of Japanese in me, after all, for three years, many a Japanese woman had a piece of me in them.

Oh no he didn’t!? Sorry.

That just slipped out. It must have been the Easter Islander in me - awesome people with an amazing sense of humor.

Bonsai!
Andrew Joseph
PS: And because who doesn’t need a musical interlude, below please find a video by David Bowie: The Jean Genie:
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