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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Should I Stay Or Should I Go

It's Tuesday, November 21, 1991 and I'm at Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School) all this week.
Because of school exams, it's slow for me... I'm not needed, too much. So... what to do? I study Kanji (Chinese-style alphabet) and practice writing it and learning the definitions. I get another 50 under my belt to take me up to exactly 150 learned.
I have no idea how to utilize this stuff in a sentence, but at least it is learned, and the Nihonjin (Japanese) teachers around me seem impressed that I am finally trying to learn their language, rather than always trying to get people to speak mine - which is kind of my whole reason for being here, but I know what they mean.
I also think about home - Toronto, Canada.
Should I stay or go home?
I think I'm going to stay for a third year. It seems like a big thing to have to decide now - especially since I am only in month 16 - not even the half-way mark of my second year... but I do love it here.
The people. The culture. The atmosphere. The fact that I live on my own. Good friends. The women - oh, man... the women.
I might indeed be happier without women in my life, but my life would sure be a whole hell of a lot more boring. Besides... I think Japan has enough monks.
I write a letter to Doug (my taxi driver mentor back in Toronto) and to Kristine (my confidante and woman-friend for whom I would kill a yak for if it would make her fall in love with me) who lives 500 kilometers to the west of me in Shiga-ken.
To both, I describe my job and duties here - and strangely enough, it doesn't seem like much.
Maybe I previously had a higher opinion of my work and self (Uh... not if you re-read the diary!)
Anyhow... I get to go home early again. The phys-ed teacher - Takano-sensei - a young, handsome guy who also teaches kendo, gives me a ride home. His English is friggin' perfect! I'm totally surprised!
He only previously spoke to me in choppy sentences - and now I find out he's fluent?!
I go home and then ride out to Books Time to rent some videos.
Ashley, my ex-girlfriend and sometimes friend-with-benefits, comes over. She give me some onigiri (Japanese rice balls - kind of like a reverse bit of sushi), and we talk and watch TV until 11PM.
Suddenly I'm giving her a naked back massage - but at 12AM before anything goes too far she says she has to go home.
No problem - I'm used to not finishing what other's start - and besides... it's a Tuesday and we both have work tomorrow.
I ride with her the 25-minutes back to her place. She wants me to stay while her bath heats up, but now I'm tired and tell her I need to go home despite her wanting me to now spend the night.
I ask her if everything is okay... I mean... she never has come over on a Tuesday before... and her staying up past midnight on a weekday is unheard of! She's usually sleepy by 9PM! And why so friendly? And why didn't Andrew get a happy ending again? Yes, I'm leaving, but too much is 'off'.
I asked her if she was homesick or if there were family problems, but no... she said she was fine.
There's is nothing worse than a woman who says she is fine.
But... I'm not feeling like I need to know how fine she is right now.

Somewhere staying but going,
Andrew Joseph
By the way... the onigiri above - cool how it is supposed to look like the Japanese flag, eh.
Today's blog title is by The Clash:

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