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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Escaped Penguin Still On The Loose

A Humboldt penguin that escaped from the Tokyo's Kasai Rinkai Aquarium back on March 4, 2012 is still on the lam.... or whatever it is that penguins are on when they flee their oppressive over-lords at a zoo in Japan.

Sighted in the Old Edogawa River, the escaped jailbird was seen swimming and playing in the water and apparently eating fish - so  not to worry! The little bugger will probably be okay. 

The one-year-old, 60 centimeter tall penguin escaped from an enclosure where it lived with 134 other Humboldt penguins after scaling a sheer rock surface about 120 centimeters high.

“It’s a bit of a struggle to catch it when it is swimming, because it swims at a tremendous speed,” said a zoo official. “We are hoping to catch it when it climbs up on land to sleep.”

So far, it has eluded capture. Japanese zoo officials and police are keeping an eye out for the fleeing felon at Narita Airport, all JR train stations, assorted ports where ships are sailing for Madagascar and, of course, tuxedo shops.

Perhaps they could use a hungry sea lion to hunt the penguin... and if that escapes, perhaps some of the Canadian seal club members could be brought into to club it to death or at least get laid in the drinking/dance club area of Shinjuku.

People are warned that while the penguin we, in this blog, are calling Stanley (thanks to Mike Rogers of Marketing Japan fame) is not considered armed or dangerous, it should be treated as such and should only be approached like one would a gaijin - by offering to buy it an alcoholic beverage in the hopes it will give you a free English lesson. 

Obviously Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife is kidding about most of this. The penguin is still on the loose and we wish it much success in its endeavors to be a free bird like in that Lynyrd Skynyrd song.

By Andrew Joseph
In the photo above, two Humboldt penguins pose for a photo while wearing rented tuxedos.


  1. My favorite line from the Pixar Cars cartoon: "Run Stanley! Be free!!!"

    In this case, "Swim Stanley! be Free!"... But, then again, what's he going to do when it starts to get really hot?

  2. I always get a little teary when The King crashes, flipping end over end. Every single time. Dammit.

  3. @penguin_337 Day 21 and I'm still a free bird! By the way I hate that name, 'Stanley'. Rather stick with #337 than Stanely :)

  4. Thanks for the update #337. It was rather odd of us to assume a name for you, and for that we at this blog apologize. And... for all we know, you may not even be a male.
    have you ever stood on a television before? And laid and egg? Which way would it fall?

  5. I have not laid any eggs yet, but my belly has been a bit uncomfortable lately. That may just be some bad squid though :) @penguin-337

    1. @penguin-337... or may I call you #337 for short?
      Thank-you for the update! Sorry if my questions seemed personal. I'm just a curious sort. Bad squid? Is such a thing possible? It's like butter melting in my mouth... of course... it depends where you've been fishing, #337. Please keep on reading and writing on any subject that tickles your tail feathers. That way we know you are well.