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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Godzilla: A Peek At His Insides

Have you ever wondered what Godzilla, King of The Japanese monster movies looked like on the inside?

Now you can.

He's certainly not all heart, or all brains or even sugar and spice and all things nice.

Take a look at this cut-away diagram I found a few months ago on the Internet. It's someone's effort to show us that with Godzilla, it's not all about skin-deep looks. That person certainly has talon talent.

Personally, I'm a little disappointed to discover that there's not a sweaty little Japanese man inside! You know, like the Wizard of Tokyo: "Pay no attention to the man behind the scream!"

Yes, the description is all in Japanese - and I would be a fool if I actually tried to transcribe it for you. Brain, ear, heart, lungs, sure... we can all figure that out... but my Japanese has always only been good enough to get my face slapped by a hot Japanese babe. No, not radioactive hot, but then, that depends on how close she's been sitting next to Godzilla at the bar.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see Godzilla's wee-wee or butthole - which is probably a good thing. You know the movies never made mention of the real mess that Godzilla might have left behind in Shinjuku. A big steaming mess. I'm just saying, is all.

And... did you know, that I once had a girlfriend who called me Godzilla. Hopefully it wasn't because of my radioactive breath or scaly skin, or that my nails needed a trim. I'm usually quite conscious of those things. Perhaps it was because she incorrectly saw a little Japanese in me.

Andrew Joseph


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