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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Penis, Penis, Penis

Apparently if you write the word 'penis' three times in the title of a blog, Bloody Mary will come out of a box and kill you.

Okay, hopefully not really. Let's just say that if you don't find at least one blog a day from me, something bad has happened, and I have been circumcised.

Did you know that the penis is revered in Japan? Of course it is! It's revered all over the world. Every man loves his penis, women love'em too! Heck, some men love other men's penises! But the Japanese seem to love it more. Enough to celebrate it with its own day!

I can hear you now: "Come again?"

All over the world (and Japan), the penis is a symbol of fertility. To celebrate Peter, Johnson, Wang, Dick, Willie, John Thomas, Chin-Chin et al, the Japanese hold the Honen Matsuri fertility festival every March 1 in Komaki-shi (City of Komaki) in Aichi-ken (Aichi Prefecture), Japan.  

So, yeah... you missed it, but there is still plenty of time to make your 2013 vacation plans.

How do they celebrate the Honen Matsuri? Well, the people there pull out the second biggest piece of wood I have ever seen, and parade it all around the temple... they touch it, pray to it and hopefully no one gets a splinter, as it is done to make the city more fertile, and to promote renewal.

It's been done for hundreds of years, and as mentioned, it's to ensure there is a bumper crop of crops and a bumper crop of babies, because they will hopefully grow up to harvest the crops and continue this fine tradition of praying for sexual intercourse - just like the rest of us.

The following photos were sent to me by my good friend Grace. I am unsure when these photos were taken and by whom, but I present them to you here regardless.

Welcome to the Honen Matsuri - a festival that celebrates the hope for a good harvest and a great shag:

Thisu izu mai pen-is. Big-gu, big-gu.
For these old guys, it's going to take a lot of praying and Viagara to lift their spirits.
This is NOT a baby bottle!
Look out! It's going to blow!
Hopefully the town gets a bumper crop of penis this year!

Souvenir penis and the box it comes in.
They would ALL look so good on the mantle - at Plato's Retreat!
Is her nose running? She might need some Kleenax.

It looks like a fun festival, but I believe when people get too excited, the party is over and needs to take a nap.

Andrew Joseph


  1. Wow, I don't know what to think of this. I'll be returning to Aichi-ken in a few years to study, so I'll have to check this out.

    1. Awesome... what will you be studying?

    2. I'm studying Japanese in Okazaki-shi (about 30 minutes from Nagoya-shi by train) right now for a month, but I'll be returning to study long-term in a few years.