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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Your Ass Is Grass And I'm The Lawnmower

I've always wanted to say that.

In real life, situations where you can say that and not look like a complete douche bag are extremely rare. It's funny the first time you hear about it, though.

I must be one stupid glutton for punishment. After writing so many nice things about Honda, then getting snubbed, and then getting an apology, I thought I would just stay away from the company... but dammit! They make some damn interesting items.

Take, for example, their new robot that mows lawns... or rather their new robotic lawnmower.  

Meet Miimo. If you look at the photo... Miimo is NOT the humanoid looking one. It's the one that looks like a robotic vaccum cleaner. 

I'm not even so sure what is so original about this robotic lawn boy. I've seen similar looking ones previously.... in fact, I saw one recently on Storage Wars that did such a poor job of cutting the grass at a cemetery, the owner borrowed an excavator and ran it over until it was unrecognizable.   

Anyhow... the Honda Motor Co. finally has its first product for the home packed with its prized robotics technology—a sensor-equipped lawn mower.

Targeting 4,000 units per year, Miimo goes on sale next year in Europe, where spacious lawns are often enclosed by gates.

To be sold between 2100 - 2500 (¥240,000 or ~Cdn $3,000), Miimo looks similar in design to iRobot Corp.’s Roomba vacuum cleaner - although Miimo is supposed to be able to continuously shaves about three millimeters (0.12 inches) off the grass as it manoeuvers about the lawn.

And no... it won't be able to break any Greecian urns (What's a Greecian urn? In that economy - not much!), nor will it wander off. It will recharge itself so you don't have too. It also won't get you a beer, so we are unsure why you need this.

By the way... that humanoid robot? That's Asimo... another useless toy 'bot. Oh well... perhaps when Skynet is activated, silly little toy robots will be coming terminating killing  'bots who really will turn your ass to mulch.

In the mean time... my own electrical lawnmower gave up the ghost this past weekend... and not only can I not afford to get a new one, get it fixed or buy a robotic lawnmower, I can't even pay some snot-nosed punk to cut the grass for me.

What's more annoying is that I used to cut everyone's lawn in this neighborhood, and was the oldest teenager on the block well into my 30s.  People used to pay me in pie, cookies or simple thanks, which was enough to sustain me back then.

Hee... Asimo... and the grass cutting-cutting robot. Ass-e-mo...  

Andrew Joseph



  1. Here is Google using rented goats to cut grass in 2009:

    The company they rent them from has a "fleet of 800+ environmentally friendly, self propelled weed eaters". They have several advantages over the robots. Unfortunately, the cost is about the same as a lawnmower. But, the cuteness seems priceless.

    1. You are funny! I have a chocolate lab dog who eats everything EXCEPT grass. He once ate a 10-lb bag of sugar. several pounds of butter, many bags of bread, various medications (stomach pumped), pizzas, sandwiches... it's like having my own Scooby-Doo. After eating stuff like this (he counter surfs), he tends to fertilize the grass very well...
      When he goes... it's go-at time.