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Thursday, September 13, 2012

I'm An Evil Bastard Sometimes

As an out-going, reasonably good-looking, somewhat self-assured gaijin (foreigner) teaching junior high school in Japan, I can sometimes be an evil bastard.

Y'see, I know I possess a certain power over many of the students I teach at the seven middle schools in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken.

I'm talking more about the female students, of course. Oh don't worry... I'm not going to tell you I slept with one - because I have more class than that... but I do know how to amuse myself...

First - I'm in a junior high school surrounded by 12-15 year-olds... this place is out-of-control-hormones central!

Second - I'm surrounded by a plethora of teenaged girls who are yearning to be noticed by boys, men, foreign men - whatever. And me... as a foreign man at the age of 26 (nearly 22 years ago) am aware I possess a somewhat exotic quality. At least I did back then. Maybe I do now.

Third - that exotic quality has me as your un-typical Canadian... brown, tall, always smiling and inviting, wearing better clothes than any of their regular teachers, possessing a long pony-tail and a diamond earring in my left ear (the cool side - which was the style in the day). (In fact... the nice clothes I wore then in 1990 are clearly out of fashion in 2012, but back then, I clearly stood out).

Let's just say for clarity's sake that in Japan I have a lot more teenaged girls vying for my attention than I ever had back when I was a teenager. In fact, back then I could have exploded spontaneously into a green cloud of flame in the Toronto high school cafeteria during lunch time, and not a single person - male, female, teacher or student - would have noticed me, the nerdy kid with the zits, glasses, large floppy feet and glasses.

As such... since arriving in Japan six months ago... I have slept with more women than I would have thought possible. Six. Bringing my combined Japan-Canada total to: six. Yup. Virgin no more. Woo-hoo.

So now I have confidence with women... and I certainly have it with teenaged girls I have no intention or desire of sleeping with. Give me a woman any day over a kid.

But that doesn't mean I can't screw WITH them.

While the students are working quietly on an in-class assignment, I would walk quietly between the rows of desks and glance at their work - both boys and girls - and offer encouragement... providing a smile and a simple, gentle comforting light touch to the back of their shoulder. Hey... I'm a touchy-feely guy, but I know what constitutes a friendly pat versus a grope. And I only provide the kids with the friendly pat. Women, on the other hand...

The boys knew it was a nice show of affection and would smile back.

But the girls... the girls... hee-hee-hee... regardless of what they knew I was doing with the pat on the back... my simple touch would cause them to turn red in the face, gasp for breath, and leave a puddle on their chair.

The first time that happened, I was kind of embarrassed that I was able to garner that type of reaction... and then I became the evil bastard I mentioned I was sometimes, and purposely began causing puddles on the chairs.

I suppose I may go to hell for that, but when every class in every school is the same lesson plan, I would sometimes go coo-coo bananas. This was the result.

Somewhere with the kavorka,
Andrew Joseph 
Happy birthday C!


  1. This is sort of disgusting.
    To say in an entry that you, a 40 something grown adult, enjoy teasing teasing and making teenage girls giggle as you "pat" and touch their back is gross.

    Also mentioning in the same article that you've slept with more women and have more confidence is pretty stupid. It shouldn't be in the same entry where you go on to talk about teens and how you play with them.

    This is why more and more teachers are being looked DOWN upon. First it's a joke, then it's a playful (in)appropriate touch, then it's a sex scandal.

    1. Nice try at being indignant. I said this was back 22 years ago. And it's not inappropriate touching... it was just knowing that the girls liked me - I merely congratulated the work of the male and female students with a tap on their shoulder. The girls - a lot of them reacted differently.
      English teachers are looked down upon in Japan because they don't know how to read. Back of their shoulder. 22 years ago. I'm 40-something and I don't teach in Japan... I was there 22 years ago. Sorry if you only read the one article, but damn near every other one gives dates.
      Teachers are looked down upon. They are still respected in Japan. The foreign teachers are still looked upon with respect.
      You make it sound like I'm sliding a hand down their back in a sexual manner. Read the effin words!
      And... if it's really that disturbing a thing for you - sign your name. Have guts to back up your claim of sexual abuse. If you can, by reading what is written, I'll gladly either remove the blog entry or write one apologizing for it.
      Why can't I talk about sleeping with women in the same story about students? I said I have no interest in sleeping with kids - only women. There is a clear line of separation. Or are you unable to fathom the meaning of the words? Hope you aren't a teacher who can't read.
      The whole short story is how a guy who couldn't even get a woman or girl to look at him back home is now suddenly getting women and girls looking at him.
      There were AETs on the JET Programme who slept with their students, who used women there for money... I was not one of them.
      besides... I said I was an evil bastard. In this blog, I present myself as a loser and a winner. I show myself for who I was. I said I would probably go to hell for it. That implies how 22 years later I see that what I did was stupid. Sex scandal? Really? Do you even know what that is? It ain't what I wrote.

  2. I read your story and saw that it happened 22 years ago and you do prefer women not girls. What's anonymous's problem? Some people lack reading comprehension. Anyway keep up the postings I enjoy reading them. Thanks.

    1. Glenn.. thank-you. I was beginning to doubt myself.