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Friday, October 12, 2012

Hello Kitty Travel App

That Hello Kitty is everywhere!

It's probably a good thing, because Hello Kitty is now available as an APP that one can download for their iPhone.

I have no idea what I just wrote. I do not have an iPhone. I do not have an iPad. I do not have a cellphone, laptop, smartphone or even a pager. I don't even have an automatic door opener for my car.

Personally, I have no problem in not having these things. Ignorance is bliss, afterall.

As such, I have no idea if there is an associated cost for downloading this special APP from the AppStore.(App! It's a computer program that enables you to do crap. On your computer it would be visible as an ICON! App... It's an application! LOL! When the hell did people become so stupid that they can't figure out how to write in complete sentences anymore?! Why do YOU think I write such long-winded articles? Okay, it's true... I probably have a large ego... but really, (truth comes out), I have no idea how to shut up.)

I also have no idea what an AppStore is or where it is located (joke), but I do know that downloading music and Apps costs money—same with certain usage plans... but whatever... more money for the ghost of Steve Jobs or whomever is running Apple now. 

I'm writing this on an Mac computer right now... apparently there is no 'i' in Mac computers.

Okay... I'm back. Sorry. That wasn't very App ro po.

Was that ranting paragraph worth such a lame joke? To me it was.

Okay... Hello Kitty... traveling out and about (I'm Canadian and I have never actually said that phrase) in Japan, you can use your new APP to tell you where to go.

"I never get lost because Hello Kitty always tells me where to go!"

Yeah, I said that. How does a cat with no mouth tell you where to go, anyway? Digital gesticulation, I suppose.

The 'where-in-the-hell-am-I?' App - which might actually be a Japan Tourism Guide App - is (according to the propaganda - hey, this is what they tell me... I have no idea if it's really correct or not!)  - let me quote the site: "a collection of region specific 'Hello Kitty's' with local themes or features in the costume or the background. There are more than 50 types! You will find many fun-to-look-at Hello Kitty's you have never seen before."

AUGMENTED REALITYDo you know what augmented reality is? Well, when you take photos with your iPhone with the Hello Kitty App while traveling aboot (I mean 'about') Japan, a special function will allow a 'locally-themed' Hello Kitty cartoon image to pop up in the photo. You can't see it while you are posing, but the person taking the photo will see an augmented reality image of Hello Kitty in the digital camera's viewer.

Now here's proof that you have been traveling around with a 'white pussy cat', a 'chest of drawers' or a 'bit of pram'. Sorry. I was born in England, and it's some sort of rule that we spout Monty Python lines at least once a week.

By the way... this lead was sent to me by Matthew. I had thought he had seen the last blog I wrote on Hello Kitty perfume - but no, he saw that AFTER he sent me this App story. Great minds and fools, eh?

If we look at the website, it takes the time to tell me that when I take a photograph of something, even those with the augmented reality Hello Kitty image in on ever shot like she's some sort of glory hound, that I can store data on all the places I visit.   

I have to admit that's kind of cool. I'm looking at the 1000s of photos I took while in Japan between 1990-1993 (well before such technologies as iPads, iPhones existed - though there was an iRaq and an iRan and each would take turns in being your friend before turning on you like a cat on a hot tin roof. I have no idea what this means! Like things to do with an App.) and realize I have no idea of who, what, where, when and how did that get there, I am actually looking at. 

Curse you, Matthew! And you, too App featuring Hello Kitty that actually seems like a lot of fun. 

Anyhow, before I got side-tracked in to yet another grumble rumble ramble, the App on your iPeeKnightly will keep a record for you of all the places you have visited alongside each photo you take. That is neat. In fact, as you travel around Japan, you get to collect various local Hello Kitty's, and (excited breaths) if you collect enough Hello Kitty's, you will get a very special smartphone wallpaper!

Wallpaper?! WTF! Wallpaper? Who buys wallpaper for their computer of other electronic equipment? Who sees it? You. So who are you fooling? Must make everything look cute - just like every other Hello Kitty fan.

Anyhow... go visit Japan. Buy a book on traveling the country, or purchase the fun-looking Hello Kitty App—ˆ don't know... how much do App's cost? $10,000?) and travel in style and comfort knowing that a cat knows more about Japan than I do... but, unlike Hello Kitty, I have a big mouth.

I'm sorry for this blog. It's a cool App and everyone should have one. I want one and will buy one even though I can't use it because I don't have an iPhone. I want an iPhone... or an iPad... it would be nice to have a new house.... that's not what an iPad is? Is an Iroc still a version of the Z-28 car? No? Good.

Man... I just need a bit of white pussy cat...
Andrew Joseph

1 comment:

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