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Sunday, June 2, 2013

Japanese Alien Hunter Offers Proof Of Life On Mars


Well - it's all over the science news and the news of the strange, so my not on my blog?

A Japanese alien hunter - yes, there are people who hunt aliens - says he has phone visual evidence of life on Mars.

Now... hold onto your hat, or whatever it is you have on your head - hair, I suppose... skin if you are balding... wax, if you look after that balding scalp - but the the so-called life, see in the photo above, looks like a lizard.

According to UFO Sightings Daily blog, whilst studying a photo of Mars taken by the Curiosity rover, the hunter found something between the rocks. (The joke is too easy, so I'll leave it alone). This was in March... and then after UFO Sightings Daily got its hands on the story - well, even I heard of it.

The photo is purported to be a real NASA one...

But... can it be true?

Let me go out onto a non-existent Martian limb and say - n'uh-uh. No.

Although missions to Mars have found that environmental conditions on the planet could indeed have once supported microbe-sized life, Mars is a cold planet.

Look... I want to believe that there is intelligent life out in the Universe - because there's not much down here on Earth - but really... to paraphrase the B-52's... 'but it wasn't a rock... it was a rock lizard" is just stupid... and I am embarrassed that some one - a Japanese alien hunter plus a blogger even - believes this is a possibility.

The blogger writes:

"With water existing on Mars in small amounts, its possible to find such desert animals wandering around... although very rare mind you. Then again, is NASA placing animals from tiny cyogenic chambers inside the rover onto the surface of Mars to conduct tests?"

Well, where to start?

First off... I spied this story on the Huffington Post... they spell NASA, an acronym meaning (National Aeronautical and Space Administration), as 'Nasa', with lowercase 'asa'. Man... I need an Aspirin. It's all caps. That's the way NASA spells it, so that's the way YOU spell it.

Secondly... the UFO Sightings Daily mentions something called cyogenics. Unless this is some newly created science that some organization called Nasa has invented, they probably meant cryogenics, which involves the study or utilization of very low temperatures... in this case, something low enough to 'freeze' and transport a heat-loving lizard to Mars, where the temperature can hit a high of 70F and drop down to -200F.

Jeebus Ker-ist Mars is cold. ... should we call these things b-lizards? Minus 200 F? That's too cold for a lizard or even certain bloggers.

Here's the thing, science geeks... if you want to utilize science to prove something scientific, at least get the science correct. I want to believe, too... but with dumbass crap stories like this you demean us all. Get the science right.

To paraphrase Sigmund Freud, "Sometimes a rock is a rock."

Ever heard of pareidolia? That's the tendency of the human brain to see animals or other familiar shapes in vague or random images. Oh look... doesn't that cloud look like a bunny?

Hey... remember this 1976 NASA (all caps) Viking I orbiter photo of a human face in a Mars mountain (see above)? Who carved it? Martians? Or maybe it's just a coincidence? I know I wanted it to be more, back when I was 11... but even then... I wanted proof.

Saying that NASA is bringing real animals on board its spacecraft and placing them there in secret is lunacy. Where's the proof?

Seriously... conspiracy people out there... would NASA or Nasa make a mistake and actually let a photo image like that one containing the b-lizard escape onto the wilds of Earth's blogosphere? If they are smart enough to stick a lizard in a cryogenic chamber and sneak it onto the Curiosity rover and then have the same rover photograph it as the b-lizard wanders around the ultra-thin atmosphere starved of oxygen, then obviously this smart space agency ain't so smart.

As for the Japanese alien hunter... get a real job. Oh my dear god Ares... he probably does have a real job as well.

Have you seen this alien hunter? (Hmm... I know I posted a photo? Did someone take it?) He's living in Japan... Hah! Perhaps I should get a job as a hunter of alien hunters? Why hunt aliens? Hunt the larger spacecraft first.

Oh well... maybe I'm just crabby because I've only today truly understood that my feet are larger than before... not only longer, but wider. I'm a 12 EEE. Conventional sports shoes and skates are not in my future. I discovered this while writing this blog. Y'see, I bought a pair of soccer boots for myself to better coach my son's team. I knew they were tight, but I assume that I will stretch the leather. Or... will I have to play without socks? Why did I buy a pair of size 11 regular? I want to believe my feet are the same as they were... though truthfully, I was a size 10-1/2 two years ago.

Holy crap! I'm turning into a Big Foot... a Sasquatch... which would explain all of the hair.  

Andrew 'stomach-burster' Joseph
PS: Yeah... I suppose I shouldn't be throwing rock-shaped lizards... my grammar and spellin' ain't so swell, neither. 
PPS: The stomach burster was a critter from the movie Alien. Ares is the Greek God of War, while Mars is the Roman God of War...ASA is acetylsalicylic acid, what we called a aspirin. NASA is an acronym, a word where each letter of the word refers to a full word itself... FBI is not an acronym, while scuba (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus) is. 
PPPS: I can't believe I used the B-52's, the X-Files and Sigmund Freud in this blog. And, even though I mentioned "Sasquatch and Aliens", I did not use the word gaijin (outsider) until now. 


  1. ummm...shoe plugs? ;)

    1. Nope! No socks! It worked on Monday during practice!
      It's amazing how much my back hurt after stretching. When did I get old?!

    2. Crypt Keeper!!!!!!

    3. I know what you mean, but perhaps we could spell it: Cryptokeeper? As in cryptozoology? You meant the mountain man, right? Or are you just randomly screaming out things to turn me on? You are female, aren't you? I can smell a hint of cinnamon...