Search This Blog & Get A Rife

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Baby You Can Dry My Car

I've owned a few cars in my relatively short life: a 1974 Chevy Nova, 1986 Mazda 323 (Familia), 1986 Toyota Camry wagon, 1998 Ford Escort (wagon) 2000, Hyundai Tiberon, 2005 Mazda Tribute, 1995 SAAB 900 and a 2006 Mazda 6 (wagon)... and all in all, I have probably used a car wash maybe 20 times... and that's a generous estimate.

All in all, I probably have never spent more than $10 at a time to have my car washed. As such... I am always amazed that some people will spend more... like ¥10,000 ($100). 

Granted, if I was to spend ¥10,000 to have my car washed, it better be pretty special. And that's just what is offered for those with more money than sex appeal.

Yes... now you can go have your car buffed clean by a bevy of sexy Japanese girls in Tokyo, Japan.

I'm not jealous. Even though my days of being a sexyboy are long since past, not once did I feel the need to have my car washed by women in bathing suits, and I still don't feel that way.It sucks not being rich and powerful. I'm not rich.

If I'm going to enjoy life in the fast lane, it will be me being worked to a lather and not my car.

But... if that's your thing - have at thee. Go check out the Swimsuit Carwash in Akihabara (see
For ¥10,000 and until August 30, 2013 (after that it either gets too nippy (triple entendre) or the car washers have to go back to school) (I know they aren't on vacation from school!) you drive your car into the S3 Warehouse in Chiyoda, Tokyo where a pair of swimsuit clad sexy Japanese babes will clean your car... which is not an euphemism.

The 20-minute job includes hosing (the car and you of your money), sponging (the car), high pressure rinses, hand drying (the car) and even tire waxing. There are also a couple of un-named bonus cleaning techniques that the owners does not wish to divulge for fear of copy-cats at the other car washes...

We assume this is all on the up and up and is not a soapland for the driver to get off.

However, having said that, you the driver may remain in the car while the initial washing goes on. But... once the soap starts to fly, you must vacate the vehicle - see - not a soapland - and can watch the women clean your vehicle... or you can walk around and look at the scenery outside the warehouse.

If I paid ¥10,000 for a carwash, I'm watching the women.

There is a complimentary drink while you wait, and while there is no photography to protect the car washing process, they will provide you with a commemorative photo and certificate of you and your car... so I can assume you can show the wife and kids before displaying both proudly at work to impress your business contacts that you own a cherry ride cleaned by women who have long lost their cherry. I assume.

Click HERE for brief (ha-ha) bios of the lovely car wash attendants.

Ahh... but here's the rub... for some reason... no high-end cars are allowed. That means no luxury cars like a Rolls Royce or Bentley... or exotics like a McLaren or Ferrari or Maserati. My other car is a Lamborghini Veneno (one of three!). 

Wait... so people with money to spend on high-end cars can't get their car washed here? So who exactly is Swimsuit Carwash in Akihabara catering to? Average schmoes like you and me?

While I am sure the only way I'm getting a 21-year-old Japanese babe to look at me is to run her over with my car, I still won't pay ¥10,000. Fug. I can't even say I must be getting old... because even young, I wouldn't have done this.

I guess I like my cars like I like my women: older and dirty.

Andrew Joseph
PS: After I finished writing this blog entry, it began to rain. Figures. It always happens after you write about getting your car washed.