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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Japan's Living Wallet Invention

I'm still not sure if this is a joke, or perhaps some awesome marketing with a prototype.

The Living Wallet, is supposed to be a Japanese invention that is aimed to help shopaholics cub their spending.

From what I understand, the Living Wallet has wheels at the four corners and sensors and is hooked up to an APP - and accounting APP - that will help embarrass the consumer to stop them from spending money and to save money.

The accounting App is called Zaim, and works on the iPhone, Android, iPad and on the web.

Basically... for this to work, the consumer has to understand there is a problem with their out of control spending, and has got to want to be embarrassed.

Let's see how it works.

First off... this is an actual wallet (apparently). It looks like a man's wallet.

There are two modes... Save Mode and Consumption mode.

Apparently, when in Save Mode, the Living Wallet detects the owner reaching for it (the wallet), and then it (the wallet) will actually move away from the grabbing hand.

Even now, hours after I wrote that, I'm shaking my head for you to see.

Total bull crap. If a shopaholic wants to buy something—and even has the damn wallet with them, the best thing to do is for the shopper to NOT place the wallet in such a position that it can 'walk off'. You know... place it flat... keep it in your hands...or...

Will the wallet try to slink off if I reach for it while it's in my pocket?

I keep my wallet in my left front pocket - next to my penis, as that and money are very dear to me - will it start to walk away (the wallet) if I reach for it (the wallet and or the penis)?

If does walk walk away, will this feel like something good or something bad in my pants? Considering how it slinks... I'm saying 'good'.

Okay... let's suppose you do let it slink off when it's placed menacingly on the counter... and you then grab for it (the wallet)—it is then that the Living Wallet will come to life and SCREAM (yes, scream) - audibly - for help!

It actually screams: "No! Don't touch me! Help!"

Geezus. Help me Buddha! But it sounds like someone trying to stop a sexual assault or rape!

It (the wallet) will then sent a text message to the owner's mother telling her that you have been a naughty girl or boy reaching for it (the wallet) to spend money.

"Sorry mom... no present for you. I swear... that's why I was reaching for my penis wallet. It was to buy YOU something nice for Mother's Day..."

See... I could almost have believed this was real... until that part about the text message to mom.

Go ahead you stupid Living Wallet - tattletale! My mom's dead. What are you going to do... use a Ouija board APP? Is there one? There is? Crap. I am sooooo dead. Like my mom.

(It's okay... it's been 19 years. She had a sense of humor. Where do you think I got mine from? Yes, television...)

And... even if all that is true... and I'm still not sure if this is a real product or not... IF, by some miracle of miracles you should manage to save a few bucks at the end of a month, the Living Wallet showers you with gifts... and it (the wallet) then starts playing some Beethoven music and apparently downloads books from Amazon for you. I have no idea where the speakers - but is there any freaking room in the Living Wallet for actual money?

This was all on a video I saw on a Canadian newspaper's website.

So... Beethoven music? Hopefully Ode to Joy. No? Beethoven's Fourth Symphony... nice... but... was that the best they could? How about "We're In The Money"?

But downloading automatically some books from Amazon? I suppose the consumer would have pre-determined what books the wallet could order for you... but doesn't that defeat the purpose of having saved some money....

I'm just tossing this out there... (no... not my penis... later)... but if the owner is such a shlub that I need a Living (and screaming and texting tattletale) Wallet to help curb excessive spending habits... chances are pretty good the owner has already run up some impressive debt.

Shouldn't that person be paying OFF that debt, rather than spending the money on books? There's this new invention out now... and now... it's not the Living Wallet... or maybe it is... but I'm talking about "the library".

Unless you are my wife, the library is free (overdue finezzzz....)

Here's a video of the Living Wallet:

At this time, I still don't know if this is a prototype or the best hoax of the day. If it's real... how much does it cost? Does one buy this Living Wallet knowing that I shouldn't be spending the money?

So... did anyone else notice that the Japanese Living Wallet has an English voice? Maybe that was for marketing purposes...

It looks cool. Put me down for seven Living Wallets when they come out! I'm sure they can't be that expensive...

Andrew "I want to make it do wheelies in my pocket" Joseph

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