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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Rife With Noboko - I Lay An Ego

Spring of 1993.

In a moment of giddy perfection that was perfectly absurd, I had just told Noboko that I loved her… and I did so while I was peeing.

Her response, perhaps continuing the playful joking from minutes before, was a simple "I know" and did not garner a follow up "I love you, too."

Telling someone you love them for the first time while you are peeing is probably the most un-romantic thing a guy can do. Unless you are pooing or farting. Maybe she thought I was joking? Surely I must be more romantic than that...

And so… I sat there continuing to pee with a hard-on jammed under the toilet seat while she watched me, but feeling stupider than usual.

Maybe it was the shock of it all… but I was so numb that I almost didn't realize she had quietly crawled atop me and straddled me while I sat on the toilet.

It's a good thing she's small, because that washroom of mine has enough room for a toilet bowl and to stand up in front of it, and not much else.

As Noboko leaned forward to kiss me, I subconsciously reached around her waist to grab her bum… when the hell had she taken off her jeans?!

"An-dooooo-ryuuuuuuu" she cooed.

"Haiiiii?" I said trying to sound calm and collected but failing miserably.

"I love you, too."

I never, ever would have thought that my cramped closet of a washroom is where I would have told anyone that I love them, let alone get it reciprocated there. 

I needed to get us out of this space and into a better space with more space—like my bedroom.

Fortunately, Noboko is lighter than air and I don't even need to grunt as I pick us both up and attempt to penguin us over to my queen-sized bed (an anomaly in Japanese bedding traditions - but being a gaijin has its own set of perks).

Penguin… wtf, eh? You ever try to walk with your pants down around your ankles? Penguin. Though when I tripped I did turn into a Great Auk. Enough bird humor.

Tune in for the next episode—that involves more bird stuff. And never you mind what happened in the bedroom.

We played paddycake. That's all you need to know.

Okay... maybe you need to know the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Andrew Joseph


  1. hey andrew did you marry noboko in the end??

    1. Hello Cairono... all I'm going to say is that I know what the end of this blog will be, should I live long enough to write it.
      But... all you have to know is that no one is THAT lucky all the time. My life in Japan - especially when it came to women - was up and down. I'm in the up phase with Noboko right now... and like all relationships, things can be rocky before they settle down...