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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Rife With Noboko - Secret Plans

Being in love often means being alone.

That's the way it was for me in Japan. I had been in love with Noboko from the moment I had first laid eyes on her.

I had tried to tell her so by immediately coming up with a decent haiku poem in 47 seconds, and then marching up to her desk to present it to her.

Either she was used to guys hitting on her (probably), or she just didn't know what to make of the slick-looking gaijin (foreigner) with a reputation as long as his dick (bigger, hopefully).

Thanks to the machinations of her students who were smart enough to see that I was smitten by this kitten and wanted to help me, and me playing it cool (hopefully), while being the nice guy as backed up by our junior high school students at Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junior High School), she agreed to a dinner date at my apartment.

A dinner at my apartment because it would be best if we weren't seen together in public.

I had thought it was because of the fact that in Japan, any woman seen hanging out with a man would be considered to be a slut. But I only got it partially correct.

It behooved Noboko to not advertise she had agreed to come to dinner, because, well… she had not made up her mind about me, and why have tongues wagging about her just coming to my place for a simple friendly get-together.

She didn't know I was in love with her... but she already had an opinion of me.

I didn't know this… but I had developed a reputation as a lady-killer. It's that REAL lack of ego I possess. What you see is false bravado.

It sounds far more dramatic than it actually is. I was a male slut who enjoyed screwing the brains out of women - and they apparently were lining up to have their brains screwed out. It was a win-win situation that was aided by word of mouth. Gossip.

Of course, Noboko's relationship with me was put in reverse after she had her word of mouth confirmation that I had got some Japanese chick pregnant and didn't care about it.

Well… when she finally told me about my asshole attitude towards the women of Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, I was crushed… Yes… I had slept around, but I don't know nothing about makin' no babies (to paraphrase a famous fictitious Atlanta woman).

It was another gaijin - and not anyone on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme.

Apparently our dicks all look alike. That still kind of pisses me off 20 years later.

So… relieved that she wasn't going to be dating a callous sonuvabitch gaijin, Noboko and I became more serious in our friendly and eventually hot and heavy, sexual and loving relationship.

Which brings us to now.

Perhaps as a ways of making amends for believing gossip (pretty much every other bit of gossip about me and women in Japan was correct, however), Noboko asked if I wanted to go down to Utsunomiya (the Tochigi-ken capital) this Saturday.

This was Friday night when she asked, and being a gaijin on his third year in Japan, I never really had plans to do anything. It was always safer to have a priority (in my case - girlfriend trumps all), but be available to do absolutely nothing with anyone else should they ever ask.

Excluding Noboko, for whom my life now revolved… waiting until I could see her again for a few hours or talk to her on the phone for a while… I was pretty much a hermit, only going out to buy food and Coke and teaching English privately after school and making a lot of extra money doing so. Otherwise I stayed home. Awaiting Noboko.

It wasn't like I could tell anyone about what I was doing personally… except Matthew and Colin and Jimmy Jive… and all were happy for me… but Matthew was pretty much engaged to Takako and was spending more and more time with her (that's not a complaint by me - I was and am very happy with their relationship!), but Jimmy Jive and Colin who lived far away in other towns weren't in the same relationship boat as me - looking but just not finding that woman. Hell… it took me a long time…

And Noboko… except for me… she told no one.

In love. All alone. Except for each other.

While some would say that is perfect - it wasn't for me. I wanted to shout from the 2-story rooftops about how happy I was… and yet… I had to respect Noboko's wishes.

So… after her Saturday morning classes, Noboko arrived at my apartment looking as fresh as a daisy on a spring morn and bade me to sit in the passenger seat of her tiny toy Japanese car built just for women… and we were off with my head pressed up against the roof.

I had already visited the ATM at my bank and taken out ¥30,000 (~$300) because I really had no idea if I should be paying for gas, her meal, her new dress and some heels… I mean… whatever Japanese baby wants, baby gets, right?

Well… there was none of that.

Thank goodness her car was an automatic… it allowed me to hold her hand and softly kiss her fingers as we drove down to the big city.I always seem to be in the left side of a car when this happens.

We parked and then walked along to the midway of shops in town and headed for a restaurant for a late lunch.

Back in 1993, which is when this was happening, it was difficult to find any cuisine that wasn't Japanese. There was Chinese food and the usual pizza, McDonald's and KFC franchises, but if you wanted... say Mongolian food  - you were out of luck.

So we had Japanese. I love eating Japanese. The food, too. In fact… if you can go to a restaurant with a Japanese person fluent in English and Japanese, I heartily recommend it. You actually seem to get a more diverse range of foods than merely teriyaki or pork kontatsu (cutlet).

After lunch, we boldly held warm hands and walked along the promenade waiting for the opening time of an American movie translated into Japanese with English subtitles.

And that's when we heard it.


It's actually pronounced "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh?" and involves a bit of air sucked in before you show your shock.

"An-do-ryu-sensei?" (Andrew teacher?)

Hah! I got first billing!

"Kikuchi-sensei?" (They pronounced it 'Kikuch' with a barely audible 'e' sound at the end.)

Aw crap…. even I felt bad - but not for me.

In Japanese, the eight students (four boys and four girls) from Nozaki Chu yammered at Noboko and smiled at me, wanting to know if I was her boyfriend.

I could tell that Noboko was a tad flustered, because she had not let go of my hand… which made the possible 'just friends' excuse an impossibility.

But she was good. She said that yes, An-d-ryu-sensei and she were out together. We were not yet officially boyfriend-girlfriend (what exactly does one have to do sexually to earn that designation - because I'm pretty sure we were already on our 10th wedding anniversary), and since all of these students and their classmates were the ones who got us together, it would be nice if they could keep a secret.

They all bowed and nodded and swore that they would keep our relationship a secret… and then… just before they left, I asked Noboko what the kids were doing down here so far away from home.

She knitted her sexy eyebrows and clucked her tongue: "Chotto matte, kudasai!" she bellowed in a voice the defied her small chest.

Noboko stopped being their friend asking for a favor and became the lioness hunting small fry.

There was a lot of "umm's" and head scratching, but as I suspected, not only were these kids not supposed to have been in Utsunomiya, each admitted without too much duress that they had skipped the morning classes.

Nothing says true love like blackmail.

"Hmmmm," said Noboko tapping a sexy foot, while having one arm akimbo… "I should turn you all in to your home room teacher (why was she saying this in English?) (She really was!)… she then lectured them in Japanese about how important school was…

Noboko was still holding my hand, by the way… so her anger was tempered by my grinning face and my darting eyes that kept pointing back to our grip… it made the kids laugh.

Which made Noboko angry… until they explained why.

And this is why I love Noboko…

She laughed. Laughed out lout. A Real LOL.

We all did.

(Three years earlier, just before arriving in Japan, no one told me the Japanese could laugh.)

Each faction promised to keep their mouth shut about the minor transgression.

More bowing and cute "'bai-bai's" and Noboko and I rushed back to the movie theater to watch some movie: Godzilla, maybe? T2? I know I saw both with Matthew… but I wasn't paying much attention to the screen when the theater got dark as I sat on the right of Noboko.

Have you ever tried the old popcorn trick with your date? That's where you stick your erect penis up through the bottom of the popcorn cup (we had a large).

Well… I secretly did it… and Noboko reached to grab the popcorn, and without even looking at me grabbed hold of the situation.

Despite the fun of having a woman grab your pecker in a dark theater, I can recommend you not try this yourselves… or at least if you do, do not ask for double butter on the popcorn. It's a messy, goopy and sticky situation - made worse when you have a 30 minute car ride back home and the buttery smell is making you hungry rather than horny.

Now… how can I use this butter?

Truthfully, as soon as I got back to my apartment, I washed that nuclear sludge off me. Apparently in the 15 minutes I was in the shower, Noboko stepped out and picked up dinner for us from a nearby restaurant.

And… just so you know… I paid for lunch, the movie and the popcorn, and she the gas, parking and dinner.

Nothing was said about costs or expenses, we just shared without thinking about it.

This was no Junko who had multiple boyfriends to buy her things. Noboko, as she lay curled up in my arms while on my couch, she was a keeper.

Twenty years later, I can still smell the apple blossom shampoo in her hair. And the artificial butter.

The evening continues...

Andrew Joseph

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