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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Ghost Groom & Bride Doll

For many gaijin (foreigners) men, a trip to Japan is an opportunity to sample the local wildlife - IE, the Japanese women.

Many people go there in the hopes of achieving the goal of marrying a Japanese woman. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but I am unsure if it should be a real 'goal'.

In Japan, historically, marriage has been a sacred thing… that whole for better or for worse taken to be a written rule rather than a 'vow'.

Apparently marriage was, at one time (I can't say it is now, owing to an increase in people uninterested in such things), very important to the Japanese, so much so that should a man die before he got married, steps could be taken to ensure one took place with a real doll.

No really… a doll. Something wooden like Keanu Reeve's acting (I like Keanu, however, but I wouldn't marry him).

The whole idea behind this is that if people die before they are married, they could bring illness or financial misfortune or even spiritual possession down upon the rest of the living family… which all seems like the deceased are a bunch of spoiled brats, but what the hell do I know about Buddhism and Shintoism or Taoism? Orgasm… that I know.

Basically, the deceased spirits - the kami - they held some sort of resentment to the living because they were denied the sexual and emotional fulfillment of marriage and procreation.

I have about 47 jokes about that, but I'd just come across as being bitter.

Spiritual possession? Is that even legal? I suppose it is. I've heard that possession is nine-tenths of the law. Okay… 48 jokes.

If it seems as though dead Japanese females are getting the shaft (or not getting the shaft, as it turns out), whoa! Hold your horses! Dead women can also marry a doll… but it has to be a male doll. Apparently Japan is only sort of heard of the sexual revolution.

I admit that when Alice first sent me a story on this, I was thinking well… I suppose I could wait for someone to die (like Raquel Welch - I have a free pass if the opportunity ever arises)… and then I thought maybe I could marry some hot ghost chick like Marilyn Monroe or Cleopatra… and so I was disappointed to find out initially Japan only had a ghost man-living woman marriage…

But that changed in the 1930s… as apparently Japan's aggression against China in the years before the official start of WWII meant that there were far too many young Japanese men dying and not enough single Japanese women willing to placate their mischievous/evil souls… and so, that is why male ghost to Japanese female-looking doll was created.

During the symbolic Ghost Man - Bride Doll ceremony, a female doll is placed in a glass case alongside a photograph of the deceased man. (The image above is NOT a ghost wedding doll, but is actually only a female doll dressed in wedding clothes.)

Whether the doll was wooden or porcelain or whatever, it was still supposed to be dressed up in fine miniature kimono, with the hair done up.

The twosome remain inside the glass case for 30 years, at which time it is assumed the man ghost's kami (spirit) has been placated and has passed into the next realm.

I am unsure just WHERE the fugue this tableau is supposed to reside. I'm unsure I would want my a relative's horny ghost display in my living room. Even if nothing moves, symbolically, the ghost man is probably trying to screw the hell out of that poor little Japanese doll night after night after night. While I can appreciate that, it does seem unfair that she doesn't get a single night off or even a dinner out on the town.

On the downside, unlike his real Japanese male counterparts, the poor spirit can't even cheat on her! plus, he is forced to hear her nagging at him non-stop about his poor performance and how Pinocchio can make her feel like a real woman - no lie!

I have always been one of those people who dislike seeing a plethora oaf dolls all over the bedroom of any woman over the age of 18. I have always found the dolls to be kind of… creepy.

Who loves ya, baby:

Till death do us wed,
Andrew It's a nice day for a white wedding Joseph


  1. I had no idea about this! Interesting stuff. I second your final comment; dolls creep me out a bit!

    1. Cheers! I only just learned of it the same day I wrote it. Apparently there is similar (but different) stuff in China and other countries. To be honest, the Chinese stuff sounds even more eerie.

  2. I'm trying to imagine you channeling Billy Idol here... hair, no. sneer, yes! ;)
    - alice