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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Hello Kitty Cupcake Treats

The fact that I keep writing about Hello Kitty probably gives away the fact that I like Hello Kitty.

I'm not a collector, nor do I have articles of clothing depicting the mouthless white female cat icon, but I am fascinated by her continued popularity that only seems to be growing with each passing year.

I don't get it, then again, I don't have to.

I had previously purchased a box of Hello Kitty Candy Sticks (HERE) that were made with tapioca.

I've eaten bee larvae and sea turtle phlegm, so weird isn't uncommon to me. I'm not a fan of tapioca, but I know that's probably because my tastebuds haven't gotten used to it. The Hello Kitty Candy Sticks, however made me never want to try tapioca again.

It was why—with some trepidation—I winced internally when my buddy Julien brought a present in to work for me: Hello Kitty Cupcake Treats (see image at top).

How bad could it be?

Well… think about the sweetest thing you've ever eaten, and then multiple it by 4.7, a number I come up with inaccurately, but with much thought.

Holy crap… I ate three of them and nearly went blind as I slipped into a diabetic coma.

Don't get me wrong - they taste just like a cupcake covered in icing and sprinkles!

And sugar-wise, it's 19-grams of sugar per 28 pieces (40-grams).

- Granted, the colorful paperboard container does state that it's 100-grams - but I'm never sure if that's 100-grams of product or 100-grams of product plus packaging.

Whatever… that means that some greedy person (me, three years ago) could eat the whole pack of Hello Kitty Cupcake Treats in five minutes, and inhale 95-grams of sugar.

Worse yet, that much product equates to 1,000 calories.

Again… at no time is Hello Kitty saying anyone should eat much at one sitting. She can't because she has no mouth.

Caveat Emptor: Let the buyer beware.

My complaint is with the product and how it is ported on the packaging, and how it really looks.

So… white icing and slivers of sprinkles, over what must be some sort of doughy treat.

Except, it looks like this:
Hello Kitty Cupcake Treats - you're deceiving.
A doughy treat, sure… but where's the white icing?!

Also, my sprinkles look like sprinkle dots, not slivers.

If I had paid for this, I might have felt ripped off. If I do feel like grabbing another pack someday, I'm going to steal it! Okay, no I'm not - to either scenario.

This particular pack of Hello Kitty Cupcake Treats was purchased in Quebec (yes, the packaging is bilingual), but was made in the good ol' U.S. of A… apparently a (and I'm quoting the box) "a product by/un product de Taste of Nature, Inc. Santa Monica, CA."

A Taste of Nature made something that tastes like cupcakes? That just seems wrong.

I'm no packaging expert here - oh wait, I actually am - but I'm pretty sure the product should come visually close to what the outer packaging is depicting.

I blame Sanrio for allowing an inferior product to sully the iconic reputation of Hello Kitty.

As an aside, I like the Lot # on the back of the Hello Kitty Cupcake Treats packaging: Lot #XXXXXX

Lot double triple X??!! Really? Is that legal?
Yes, you are double fugged.

So - aside from the fact that the candy doesn't look like the image on the package, the biggest problem I have is that Hello Kitty Cupcake Treats are just to darn sweet for me.

I still like sweet things... I really do. I am now a diabetic (on pills), but it doesn't mean my tastebuds suddenly don't like sweet things.

I made myself a diabetic with my pigging out on sugary things - but this stuff... holy smokes!

Sanrio… do you have any Hello Kitty treats that don't suck? I assume you do. But with me, you are two for two in the sucky-suck-suck department.

And yeah - I like Hello Kitty.

How about leading the way in providing something less vile for people to eat?  

Andrew "When the hell did I get old?!" Joseph

1 comment:

  1. I gave Jaxson 2 and he went nuts and then crashed. Hello Kitty is a hell of a drug.