A few years ago - it's all starting to blur like when I try to read a book without my reading glasses that I wear over my contact lenses (WTF is that?!) - Krispy Kreme entered Canada, and there was this huge hubbub regarding it, as people everywhere flocked to the few select shops that had opened.
There were line-ups around the block - and I will admit that damn, that was a fine plain ol' glazed donut! I think it's all the fat in it. Whatever. Delicious. It's other flavors weren't as good as the glazed.
But that's just my opinion.
I'm not a huge doughnut guy anyhow. Honey Crullers, Boston Creams (back when it had real cream) - I've never had one of those gourmet donuts with bacon, a pretzel or peanut butter and jam in and on them.
I have a desire to, but I just haven't yet. Anyone in the Toronto are wants to send me a doughnut (doughnut), I'd be as grateful as a writer can.
Anyhow, after that initial run on Krispy Kreme donuts in Toronto/Mississauga, at least, it petered off. I think there are four shops in the greater metropolitan Toronto area. Again… I enjoyed the fat content in their donuts.
But, leave it to the Japanese to take something as innocuous as a standard Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut and make it something I'm not sure I want to eat.
Krispy Kreme Japan, beginning on April 13, 2016, will offer a new taste… the Kool Krispy Sandwich.
Personally, I'm not a fan of companies that fug up the spelling of words by using the letter "K" rather than the appropriate "C"... but Kool Krispy Sandwich - couldn't they find a K-word to replace "S"andwich, so customers could order a Kool Krispy Kreme Sandwich with a simple salute to the KKK Sandwich... oh, wait. Nevermind. Effing alliteration.
How does Krispy Keme Japan make the Kool Krisy Sandwich?
Take on original glazed doughnut - cut in half to make it like two pieces of bread. In between the sliced doughnut, Krispy Kreme Japan adds vanilla ice cream and raspberry gelato, plus an assortment of frozen berries.
That raspberry gelato, for all you health nuts out there, is made with real fruit and juice.
Available at all Krispy Kreme locations across Japan, the doughnut, ice cream and fruit concoction will retail for ¥420 (~US$3.74).
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have one… then again, I have diabetes (Type II), lactose intolerance and a fear of frozen fruit.
The combination of ingredients sounds pretty good, but who the heck wants healthy stuff when they are purposely going out of their way to not have something healthy?
People crave food at times, but it's usually: oh, ice cream… I really have a hankering for ice cream… maybe chocolate chip.
Or, maybe it's… mmm, I just want a French mint chocolate right now.
Or I could really go for a honey glazed doughnut.
Man, I need a Coke… not Diet Coke, but the real hard stuff.
Do people really get a yen for donuts, ice cream and fruit? Pickles and ice cream if you are a pregnant woman in the 1960s, sure, but is that a real thing? And have you ever heard (on TV) any person crave - oh god, this is so good, but do you know what would make it even better? Frozen fruit berries… oh yeah, and sandwich that fruit with some ice cream in a fat-filled doughnut.
Right. No one.
That reminds me - I should eat my fresh banana.
Andrew "The Cardiac Kid" Joseph
PS: Despite today's date, this is a real thing.