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Monday, August 29, 2016

Irish Girl A Kick-Butt Samurai

Meet nine-year-old Jesse Jane McParland, a diminutive little girl from Ireland who may now be looking to kill me for calling her a "little girl" like it was a negative thing.

Her nickname is the "Golden Dragon" and she is a double WAKO (World Association of Kickboxing Organizations) champion (Euros, too), six-time WKO (World Karate & Kickboxing Commission) champion, and three-time WOMMA (World Organization of Martial Arts Athletes)... obviously for her age-group.

Although as a younger youngster she took up ballet and Irish dancing—because that's what parents think all girls want to do, she saw a martial arts demonstration and immediately moved into that figuring it was more her style.

Going out on a limb, here, but I think she was right.

Check out her bad @$$ routine here - volume is not required but is a heck of a lot of fun:

So... using her sword, I believe she is performing kenjutsu ((剣術), which covers all of the schools of Japanese swordsmanship.

Kenjutsu originated within the samurai warrior class during the feudal era of Japan, and literally is defined as being "the method, or technique, of the sword" - in contrast to kendo (which I did and enjoyed, which means "the way of the sword."

Since I wasn't that great at kendo, I have no idea what that all really means, as my instruction was in Japanese, and I didn't understand a damn thing unless it was visually shown to me. I'm a visual guy. You show me yous, I'll show you mine. See?

Anyhow, away from my dumb ego and back to the Golden Dragon...

I believe she also appeared on Britain's Got Talent, doing reasonably well her her sword routine. 

I’m guessing she is using the smaller wakizishi (脇差) style of Nihonto (Japanese sword), and not the longer katana—the kid is nine, after all… anyhow, the wakizashi blade is usually 30- to 60-centimeters (12- to 24-inches) in length.

I'm also guessing that the blade isn't sharp, but what the heck do I know?

The point isn’t whether or not the kid is a superstar martial artist with a technique that could take out an army of rebel scum Japanese troublemakers, rather it’s about how much she scares the crap out of me.

Seriously… you just armed your kid, and then gave her training to kill you in a more effective manner. The only other equivalent I can come close to is buying a set of drums for your kid when you weren’t a drummer for Spinal Tap.

For me, McParland's routine is a complete winner if only for her final scream lamenting the deaths of her many enemies, and maybe for the way she bows, and walks backwards from the judges so as to not show any disrespect to them.

I'm sure there's something equally wicked from a Japanese girl, but was shown this video first by my friend Barb who insisted I watch Game Of Thrones because it was awesome. She was right.

Andrew Joseph


  1. She won't have ex's. She'll just be a widow multiple times. Her: "what you mean you didn't change the laundry!?"

    1. I know, eh? Those little leg kicks were awesome. But scream at the end made me pee myself a little.