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Tuesday, September 6, 2016

The Golden McNugget of McDonald's Japan

I don’t mind adding some Chicken McNuggets to my order as something to suppliment my main meal over at the Golden Arches of McDonald’s.

But McDonald’s Japan is making things even more delectible for consumers, offering some lucky bugger a chance to win an 18-karat golden nugget.

No… you can’t eat it… well, you could, but the US$2,000 valued nugget might be better suited in a vault, or converted into cash.

Here’s the deal… McDonald’s Japan - like a lot of the McDonald’s around the world, is seeing a decline in profits.

It’s why they offered a French Fries and chocolate sauce item to increase sales, as well as something called the Giga Bite Burger… a 2.8 times the meat version of the Big Mac.

So… in an effort to promote two of its latest dipping sauces, McDonald’s Japan offered—and since finished, as of June 28, 2016—a chance to win the golden nugget.

18-karat gold? At least they didn’t cheap out and offer that nasty , cheap 14-karat gold stuff. All the gold chains and gold ring I used to wear were 18-karat.

Buddha help me, but I used to wear two maybe three chains around my neck, and later one treaded around the left upper part of a diamond back rattlesnake set of cowboy boots I used to wear with gold tips and heel. I know… WTF?!, eh.

The gold ring was an excuse to showcase the large black star sapphire gem and small five diamonds.

I have no idea where the chains are now, but I still have the ring, purchased by myself on a trip from Japan to Thailand. I also have a star ruby gem purchased in Malaysia that lacks a ring setting.

Anyhow… golden nuggets.

To support the arrival of the new Creamy Cheddar Cheese and Fruits Curry dipping sauce at McDonald’s Japan this past summer, consumers were supposed to take pictures of the freshly created Phantom Thief Nuggets (why isn’t it the Phantom Nuggets Thief?), wherever he showed up in Japan and post the photo and locale on Twitter, gaining that person a chance to enter a draw, with the winner getting the gold, and 21-second place winners getting a 39-day supply of five-piece chicken nuggets.

How the hell McDonald’s Japan arrived at the 39-day total is beyond me. Anyone know?

Wait… the Phantom Thief Nuggets?

Yup… this is him:

His name is Kaito Nuggets… and yes, he is wearing a smokin’ yellow suit, a dastardly top hat, and a mask. He can also dance. I think.

No… you should watch the commercial for this promotion, and be glad you don’t run into Kaito Nuggets in a dark alley, because somethings are worth more than a $2,000 nugget.

So… apparently when this promotion was on, Kaito Nuggets was seen throwing out first pitches at baseball games (really - so 40,000 people could suddenly join the contest?!), at various McDonald’s locations, a prefectural government office, you know where most people are likely to hang out.

At no time at all in the contest does it say you have to actually use the new dipping sauces, or even purchase anything at McDonald’s.

While the Creamy Cheddar Cheese dipping sauce may hold some potential for taste, what sort of potential is offered by Fruits Curry?

Fruit… Curry… I’m thinking a trip to the washroom.

I know the Japanese love their Indian curry…

Despite being of Indian descent, and my buddy figuring that out while we lived in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, when he invited me to a local curry restaurant, it was the first Indian curry I had ever eaten in my then-26 years.

Figuring the Japanese were posers when it came to real curry heat, I noticed that the restaurant offered spicy heat levels of 0 to 10… with 10 being the hottest.

Not suicidal, but still every bit as stupid, I waited until Matthew confidently ordered a #7, and then I ordered a #8.

When the waiter went “Oooh!” I should have taken closer note.

End result, that curry burned me going in, and multiple times as it exited.

Andrew Joseph
PS: I did eventually build up a tolerance for spicy heat by slowly making my weekly chili con carne pots hotter and hotter, finally getting it right when I nearly killed dear Ashley, who finished the meal bloated and then moaning about stomach pain. I assume it was the food, because even though I ate it, my hair was on fire, and after she fell asleep at my place, I made my own golden McNuggets. Too much information? Never! Everybody poops!

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