Search This Blog & Get A Rife

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Just Say No To Geisha

For one Canadian university, Geisha are out.

Interesting… I didn’t even know geisha were in at Canadian Universities.

Verboten for a Halloween costume, geisha gear is out, and the same with native/First Nation feathered headdresses, as Ontario’s Brock University’s student union has taken it upon itself to encourage its student body (and how) to be more sensitive and less offensive.

Hey - you don’t want to be a White guy dressing up in Black face to be Michael Jackson, right. I was talking about early Michael Jackson… when he his skin tone was considered Black.

Hey… my dad has vitiligo… a condition that removes pigment from the skin… my dad has zero of the brown pigment. Zero.

While I am sure it is very frustrating for him, I have, in the past internally gotten a kick out of the frustration of others when confronted with my dad’s skin color.

My wife is white… and while my dad’s skin tone isn’t really white… it’s more like the color of your skin after you have a scab pulled off… I mean… it’s really white. An absence of color.

So… at the DMV when he was there to sign documents to give me the car, the DMV lady couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that the whitish old man was not the white lady’s father, but the brown guys. Hilarity all around.

Anyhow… the idea of a Halloween costume isn’t to wear a sexy nurse costume or a sex geisha costume, but rather to wear a costume that instills fear.

Now, there is also the issue of common decency.

I admit this is one sexy costume, and I'd love to see a woman out, er, in it, but... I got nothing... I'd probably be too intimidated to talk to you... which isn't the same as being scared.  
While a KKK hooded robe, or a Nazi SS uniform may indeed be quite frightening, they also are costumes in bad taste. Like going as a blown-up suicide bomber from ISIS, a dead fireman from 9/11, dressing up as Caitlyn Jenner…

Wait… what’s wrong with Caitlyn? I suppose it depends on how it’s done and have the legs to pull it off, but really… there’s nothing scary about Caitlyn. I cheered for her during the 1976 Olympics.

If you are dressing up as Caitlyn Jenner because you think transgender is amusing, give your head a shake. If you are a guy dressing up as a famous woman or a woman dressing up as a famous guy - go ahead. Avoid infamous, unless it's a long dead and well-acknowledged madman like Rasputin. You want to avoid controversy - not start it.

Go as a sexy devil, or Lily Munster.

Lily Munster (Yvonne De Carlo) from the TV show The Munsters.
In high school, one classmate dressed up as a sperm, complete with tail, as he took on a small role from the Woody Allen movie: Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (but were afraid to ask).

He might have gotten away with it, except that he kept poking female students in the butt with his tail... twice proving he really had no clue about the birds and the bees and pregnancy.    

I would also recommend not dressing up as jazz singing great Al Jolson.

The same with Superheroes… really… this is Halloween… scary time. The only time you should wear something non-scary is if you are under the age of 8… after that, you should know better.

I was a ghost every year I went trick or treating. My final year, when I was 11 was when I was in Grade 8… Despite my young age, one should not go trick or treating for anything other than mayhem if one is in high school.

Anyhow… a ghost… the problem was that in Grade 8 (my last year), there were no more white sheets for my mom to cut up for me… as I tended to always ask for a costume on October 31 @ 5PM.

So, she cut up a blue and yellow floral sheet for me (eye holes and nose hole and mouth)… and I went as a Hippy Ghost, man. It was 1976, and hippies were still around. Not in my neighborhood, of course… but I watched TV.

Anyhow… if you are going out on Halloween, don’t dress up as a geisha.

If you think about it, it’s not because it is offensive to Japan… it’s offensive to the women who are real geisha… after all… they aren’t scary at all…. except for the cost for their artistic services. No… they are not prostitutes. They are artisans.

Oh… and while I agree that they are extremely funny (see HERE) … no inflatable sumo suits. Again… they aren’t scary people, so why wear it on Halloween?

In Japan, I did dress up as a female high school student. See HERE. While I do have the legs to pull it off, seeing me dress up as a woman is probably the scariest thing Japan has ever seen on October 31. 

No geisha.

Andrew Joseph
PS: Strangely enough, I know two women who are celebrating a wedding anniversary on Halloween… I have never met their husbands, but I hate them both. And, if I have used that line previously, it's okay because it remains true.


  1. What is your stance on Clowns? Not supposed to be scary but somehow they are. Also is it offensive to the Clown community? I mean it is a legit business being a clown at a birthday party or the circus. What if you zombiefied an offensive costume? Like a Zombie Geisha or if you were white and you went as a Zombie Prince? Is that ok?

    1. Clowns are, as a rule pretty funny. Especially the happy clown. I'm not a fan of the sad clown or the sleazy clown or angry clown or even the Insane Clown Posse.
      I think you could zombiefie so many things that there's no need to do so to an offensive costume (like a zombie Nazi). Zombie geisha is okay.
      Zombie Prince is too specific. People would find it disrespectful because you are doing a parody of a person others looked up. Keep it general (lowercase "g").

  2. I will keep this under consideration when thinking about my costume lol.