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Sunday, December 11, 2016

How Things Really Ended Between Noboko and Myself

So... a couple of days ago I received a question from a reader who wanted to know if I had ever heard from Noboko since I left Japan.

Well, there was that whole year (1994) spent trying to convince her that she should be with me in Canada... but honestly, no... I never heard from her again after my mom died, and I called to tell her.

It was a holy hot mess of a time for me.

My mother died on September 14, 1994 after we "pulled the plug" on her.

She had suffered a massive heart attack over the weekend... and who knows how long it was before we found her unresponsive... and then... despite the fire department arriving minutes later and being unable to revive her, it was 40 minutes until an ambulance arrived... and for whatever reason, they zapped her and got a pulse and heartbeat back...

... but 40 minutes is a long, long time for the brain to be without oxygen.

So... she was brought back to "life" and over the next four days in hospital, I watched as an electrical current essentially went through her brain jerking her body up out of the bed.

It was horrible... she was essentially brain dead with her heart beating... but the doctors hoped that after the swelling went down in her brain that she might improve.

She didn't.

We had long had the agreement amongst us all, that if we were ever in a vegetative state, that someone would have the guts to just end it.

So... on Wednesday the 14th of September... we did.

Here's where things get awkward and confusing.

My mom hung around for another hour or two before finally passing.

She died on the 14th, but the death certificate was written out on the 15th... because it was just that close.

Noboko's birthday was the 15th...

I actually called Noboko the love of my life to wish her a happy birthday and to tell her that my mom - the other love of my life - had died the day before... just so she wouldn't think it happened on the same day.

I know... screwed, eh?

It turned out to be the last time I ever talked to Noboko... I never called her again... and she never called me again... we never said that we would never talk again... never said that...

But Noboko knew just as I knew, that we had tried... that I had tried... and now, with my mom dying, I really just didn't give a damn about anything anymore.

I was really screwed up... I know my mom would have loved Noboko... and she my mom... but with one gone, and the other unable to commit... it was like my relationship with Noboko was finally over.

And it was.

About five years ago... I thought I spotted her name on LinkedIn... I wrote to her essentially blank LinkedIn profile, and asked if she was the same Noboko...

and if she was, she did the smart thing and did not answer.

So... there... that's the end of my relationship with Noboko... not with a bang, but a whimper.

Andrew Joseph 

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