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Friday, March 10, 2017

No More Nips

As a fairly normal dude, in my youth I certainly enjoyed spotting the headlights—the erect female nipples poking through from behind the fabric of a shirt—specifically a t-shirt—et al.

The “headlights” are often caused by “excitement”, a bit of a chill, and I have no frickin’ idea what else. I never gave it much thought.

I’m older now, and while I certainly enjoy watching “Penny” from The Big Bang Theory shine on, in the real world the phenomenon doesn’t makes its appearance as much as my memory thinks it did....  much to my chagrin.

I blame it on a) global warming; 2) women having better brassieres or under garments; III) I just don’t excite women anymore.

It’s probably No. 2.

Regardless… one Japanese company has created a t-shirt that will hide those annoying pop-ups from the all-seeing eyes of every pervert in your vicinity.

I can’t tell, but I’m pretty sure that in all of the photos showing the shirt being deployed, a man is wearing the shirt.

Are male headlights an on-going concern in Japan? Are female perverts making all sorts of rude comments and gestures while ogling the useless male public parts?

Nope... no nip-ups on these guys...

The Seisho Shiro T-shirt is available from

Shiro is the Japanese word for “white”… which is usually the culprit when annoying headlights pop up unexpectedly.

I assume Seisho is the company name, but apparently, seisho also means “Formal”… ergo, what we have here is the formal white t-shirt.

The shirt are made in Japan (so don’t worry Mr. Abe, and are made from a 100 per cent organic cotton mix) mixed with what?… if it’s 100%, then it’s all… unless they purposely meant to obfuscate by saying a 100% mix…).

The cotton is apparently sourced from fair and sustainable sources in Uganda, India and the U.S…. you can see how they are made:

The Seiso Shiro T-shirt factory is optimized using the Toyota Sewing System, which is part of the car company’s famously efficient manufacturing process - the implication being that since it follows Toyota’s sewing plan, nothing—neither material, time or effort—is wasted.

And, just because… each t-shirt is manually ironed before shipment to provide a better customer experience.

Don’t you feel better that the Seisho Shiro is ironed? Makes you wonder what’s going on with all the other t-shirts you previously purchased. You know… the ones that show off your pointy nipples.

The Seisho Shiro T-shirt is available in two styles: V-neck and crew-neck, but obviously only in white (hence the name).

Each shirt will set you back ¥9,720 (US $84.64 per today’s exchange rates via  

Did you know that in Ontario, Canada, women are allowed to go topless - just as a man can  - in public.

That hard-earned right was given some 20 years ago, but sadly, after the initial furor, I’ve not seen a single woman take advantage of it. but, I get it. It’s nice to have the RIGHT to do so, thereby eliminating a previous bias wholly-dependent on gender.

So… being gender-neutral or whatever the term is… if you are embarrassed by having your nipples protrude through your shirt fabric thanks to: global warming not being a real thing; having a crappy bra or undergarment; or the fact that I do excite you, well… perhaps you should seek out the Seisho Shiro T-shirt.

Or if it was the third point, contact me.

Addendum: Days later - no one has contacted me. Dang. 

Andrew Joseph
PS: Oh… I just got my headline. I didn’t mean it any other way than as an affectionate way to relate to the subject of this blog.

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