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Wednesday, March 8, 2017

The Ever-Smiling Napkin

If you look at the photos above, you will see a Japanese invention for a new type of napkin that helps the eater—Japanese female—look demure while they are eating, even when they aren't demure.

Yes… now Japanese women can eat in peace around all those disgusting men at a fast food restaurant without worrying about the optics of opening ones mouth to engorge a hot dog.

You know guys everywhere are watching you - chikan (aka pervert in Japanese) are watching... with the obvious implication that the foot-long hot hog you are gobbling is akin to a penis. They wish.

Obviously the advertisement photos above didn't want to gross anyone out with the whole hotdog routine I described above, and opted for what I assume is a hamburger... they can be messy too, what with that mayonnaise dripping down the side of our mouth.

Perverts everywhere. I know, I know... the bastards.   

I can actually see the Japanese getting into this napkin, though truthfully, wouldn’t a plain napkin do the trick anyhow?

Why does it have to have a fake mouth on it? Sure it looks like your mouth is closed… but so what? You still have to hold the smiling napkin in your hands in front of the food you are eating… so why not just have a plain one that doesn’t cost you anything?

Bling, I suppose.

It actually looks kind of neat… and may even make some eaters look better than they actually look.

I’m torn on whether I should diss this invention because ,even though I don’t feel there’s a true earth-shattering need for such a device, I can’t say that there’s anything truly wrong with it.

Andrew Joseph
PS: For the record, I'm not interested in that sort of chikan-ery.

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